Just like that !

Have you ever felt like a stranger to yourself? Just sit there and watch, completely detached away from your own self, when the fun of your life is being sucked out of you and your are left out feeling drained, that you no longer derive the pleasure in the finer things of life that makes most of your day, that made others like you because you chose to be happy the way you are, when you no longer are interested, a wee bit in anything. Things that were very characteristic of you, the fun loving and carefree nature to confidence to arrogance to ambitions to aspirations, everything gets eaten away slowly by the parasitic events of the past that no one had no control over anything. Suddenly, things long forgotten and buried deep down, surface up poking your vulnerability - the very same vulnerability you were afraid of showing anyone, not even to the closest of your pals. The days stretch and drag as if there is no tomorrow and your favourite past times, be it travelling, painting or making music, does not keep you occupied for more than 15 minutes when you go back into that shell, where you lock yourself for no one to see pretending everything to be fine and when it dawns, you step into the day, determined to do whats asked of you - because life has to go on ! Whom do you blame then? The heart - that doesnt seem to understand and come to terms with the present, creating its own illusions of expectations or, the fully rationale and understanding mind which seems futile in convincing the heart and plays a tug of war with it knowing very well it is losing? And you are just a mute spectator - a pawn in this game of chess, a leaf drifting along with the wind. The characterisics of a leaf doesnt matter, as it is always pulled by the strong and unsteady wind to its whims and fancies !