Bored like hell....

Am at work today. With all of my team away on a vacation ( I seriously wonder what I'm doing here)
Actually, I called up the Redhills Resort, Ooty that I have been wanting to visit for a long time and he said its all overbooked until next week when he can give me an accomodation. RedHills is a beautiful place 28 kms from Ooty and been classified as Ecologically fragile area. So, there are no developments and there are around seven lakes that you can trek upto. The only place to stay there is an age old British bungalow that has been transformed into a Resort and they offer wide variety of activities from Trekking to fishing to bon fires. Being a lonely traveller that I'm, the only thing that pinches me is that I would be actually spending the money for two people for my stay there. But, its better to travel alone and meet up people on your way than to travel with an irritating partner.

Am not in a mood to work, and therefore am completing all the formalities like submitting my Canadian Tax returns -Gosh, today is the last date for that and then filling up the feedback for my managers etc etc...Yeah, pretty much doing nothing and then decided to clean up everything, my desk, my wallet everything. I realised how these could make you completely nostalgic with the revelations of thousand small small things. For example, this two tickets of the public transport system in Chennai that I took.

Then there was this whole info on different tour plans we made and the calculations etc etc. Reminds me of those preparations, travel and the memories come back as a pleasant smile on my lips. Need to cut a CD and create a hardcover album. I like doing that. Though I'm into digital photography, holding the huge album, writing down the comments below and taking a look at those pics, thats an awesome feeling.

There was this purchase in landmark a very long time back. It was a receipt for the greeting cards and gifts we had purchased for our friend's birthday. And then my first ticket to Bangalore way back in 2003. That was a surprise to be holdingback something like that still. Memories gush past pre-May 2003and post-May2003 and there were times when I hated myself not able to spend time with my friends and family.

Its been almost three years now and I realise I havent actually much learnt about this city. I had visited all the famous places or rather tourist spots of the city as soon as I landed in Bangalore, I had even explored the night life around MG Road et al, but havent really gone exploring a different side of Bangalore yet. Yeah, thats because I never stayed here and unfortunate people that we are, we cant afford to do it on a weekeday when we work on the outskirts of the city. Gosh, I hate travelling so much to work.
Now that I spend a lot of time and infact got my bike, I will start doing it. After all, with my kind of work, I never know how long I would be in this city.

I cant drive home because my car is void of insurance for a long time now and I really am not in a mood to take the risk and drive. Nothing to do with my confidence to drive, but I hate an intuition that tells me not to take it this time. Should I probably fly down to chennai today or just go about exploring Bangalore the next two days when almost everyone I know in Bangalore is out of this place? Or probably pack my bag and visit some place around Bangalore? or just hike down somewhere or spend the weekend practising Guitar and learn to paint something new ?hmmm.....seems quite a number of options even if I dont go home! Our house is whitewashed after the rains and they want me to look at it and also some investment option on an apartment. Now thats an end to this boring post !!!

Just like that !

Have you ever felt like a stranger to yourself? Just sit there and watch, completely detached away from your own self, when the fun of your life is being sucked out of you and your are left out feeling drained, that you no longer derive the pleasure in the finer things of life that makes most of your day, that made others like you because you chose to be happy the way you are, when you no longer are interested, a wee bit in anything. Things that were very characteristic of you, the fun loving and carefree nature to confidence to arrogance to ambitions to aspirations, everything gets eaten away slowly by the parasitic events of the past that no one had no control over anything. Suddenly, things long forgotten and buried deep down, surface up poking your vulnerability - the very same vulnerability you were afraid of showing anyone, not even to the closest of your pals. The days stretch and drag as if there is no tomorrow and your favourite past times, be it travelling, painting or making music, does not keep you occupied for more than 15 minutes when you go back into that shell, where you lock yourself for no one to see pretending everything to be fine and when it dawns, you step into the day, determined to do whats asked of you - because life has to go on ! Whom do you blame then? The heart - that doesnt seem to understand and come to terms with the present, creating its own illusions of expectations or, the fully rationale and understanding mind which seems futile in convincing the heart and plays a tug of war with it knowing very well it is losing? And you are just a mute spectator - a pawn in this game of chess, a leaf drifting along with the wind. The characterisics of a leaf doesnt matter, as it is always pulled by the strong and unsteady wind to its whims and fancies !

FarAway - NickelBack

I got introduced to NickelBack when I was in Canada. And this morning I saw the video of this song of his Far Away . Ah! the typical senti stuff.....

Condolences

A silent reader she was of my earlier blog - One of the very few people who had linked me in the begining and didnt even mention to me about it. I hit her blog by accident and found myself linked ! When I saw it, it was pleasantly surprising and it made my day !!!

And today I blog hopped after what seems like ages only to find her gone ! It was saddening to see something happen to such a young girl who got married very recently. Brings a million questions in my mind and weighs my heart !

May her soul rest in peace !!!

P.S: you may read more here

Comfortably Numb

When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Chamomile Ginseng Peach Iced Tea !!!

We have a CCD at work here. And there isnt anything left that I have not tried out there yet. Yep, there is one, Apple Cranberry Iced Tea. Wait, why do they even serve tea in a coffee shop? And thats how I was interested in Chamomile Ginseng Peach Iced Tea. Boy, didnt I love it. I'm an ardent fan of tea, particularly Iced tea, though I have fallen in love with coffee these days. Talk about changing love , but hey am still faithful to Tea,huh !! Reminds me of that shop Herbs and Spices in Adyar which me and my friend like to visit.

This particular tea has an aroma thats just hypnotized me. The aroma of the chamomile flowers - they are herbal flowers with a lot of medicinal value. Check this . I was surprised to see it being an East European herb. I thought it would be from china. I guess Ginseng could probably be the most popular medicinal herb. Combine both of these, you have one of the most coolest drink foryour system !!

.....Part I

It would be his last weekend in the city. The road diverged ahead of him and he had to choose one. And choose did he with a heavy heart. He did not want to end this last weekend like this. He wanted it to be a pleasant memory. He had called her out for one last date. He hadnt heard from her. She did not respond to his calls. As usual, he thought. He was dressed in a dark blue cargos and a loose fitting full sleeved tee with a comfortable floater. There was a strange forlorn carelessness in his walk. His dress, his walk, reflected his attitude. He walked towards the park. He wanted to sit on the concrete slabs of the park where they had spent a memorable evening recording the sounds of the tens of those chirping birds leaning on each other's arms and also one morning which neither of them wanted to remember. He turned his head to cross the road. As he crossed, a couple walked right past him. He waited for them to move past and started walking behind. They must be in the early twenties, he thought. They were holding hands and the girl whispered something to the guy. He noticed the guy holding her hands tight,hurrying up the steps and turning back in intervals and starring back at him. A stalker probably, they would have thought, he assumed. He slowed down his walk to give them a feeling of ease and peace of mind. Insecurity and fear - Fata Morgana -a mirage of human mind that drives people to the edge, he thought. He smiled at the couple's reaction to a normal stranger walking behind them. What is it that makes the girl take refuge and want to be protected by a man even though she could have taken care of herself if she was walking alone? A sense of surrender, he thought, making the man feel that he is the protector sent from heaven to save her, feeding his ego handsomely in the process and she herself feeling secure and satisfying her ego of owning a man completely dedicated to her. Love is a form of surrender, a complete ablution they say. He wondered at his own thoughts. Has he started analysing everything in this world? Is he growing wise or insane?

Maid in Manhattan !!!

Sometimes, you hear a song and that keeps running in your mind all through the day and no matter what, you just cant get rid of this mind that keeps humming the song in your head... And its happening with me over this Daniel Bedingfield's If you are not the One from Maid in Manhattan.
Last afternoon, I switched on my player and the first song to come up was this. Soon after, I went to Shopper's Stop - gosh, I need to get rid of this habbit of visiting it so often - I make it a rendezvous point whenever someone wants to meet me - and there goes, Daniel again. I guess I picked it right then and this song is looping thru in my head again and again.

On another note, I saw the video of You're Beautiful - James Blunt. It was quite weird. However, I think it perfectly goes with this song of his. Tears and Rain

Favourites?

Do parents have favourites among their children? or dont they?
Why is there the feeling of being neglected or not given enough freedom and importance as the other sibling? This is more pronounced in Indian families with the girl child feeling more curbed while the son enjoys all the freedom and also importance. No, I'm not talking about those illiterate parents who go to the extent of killing the female foetus (though some cowardly literates also do that), but those parents who are well educated and otherwise seem to be the ideal parents. Why is this differentiation? Is it because the society is established that the daughter moves into the husband's house while the parents have to depend on the son in their old age? Is this need and dependency create a unconscious partiality in the treatment on their kids? Or is it the fact that they are more protective about the daughter as anything would affect the future of the daughter in this society of contrieved thoughts that places too much emphasises on many stupid things in the name of values, morals and culture?

P.S
Havent completed this post yet...

When the road diverges...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

I'm confused which one to take. One that is conventional and would be smooth but monotonous. The other - unknown, not much explored yet could be adventurous. Or may be not.

The heart and the mind plays a tug of war. The stronger mind wants to be adventurous and wants to take the risk. There aint any gain without pain. The pain of going away from people I treasure to a new world isnt new but the heart is not willing and triggers all kind of emotions frightening me more.

Years from now, would I be writing these lines or just wish I was more adventurous - I do not know !!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

caught the silent buggers early !!!

I read this post of DV and was reminded of something a coupla years ago...

Well.....when me, DV and our other frenzied beings were all still working together, (gosh, that looks like ages now), I went for a normal health check up. No, there were no complications. I just wanted to do it because I have never had a general health check up done. It felt kinda fun to do it and also wanted to verify the authenticity of what I have read - to do health checkups atleast once a year. Ah, the ways of a middle class family. We, Indians dont wanna visit a doc unless we are forced to, aye. Yeah, money also holds a huge responsibility for it.

I hadnt lost weight - like 10kgs in 2 months unlike DV, but actually I was blooking quite HEALTHY then....
The report came and I almost fainted seeing the Triglycerides count - yeah, the bad ba*@#$@# ....of cholestrol. They were silently teaming up inside me to hit hard in a coupla years. The normal range was somewhere between, 12-70 or something. and what did I have? like 5 times more than the normal- 372 to be precise. I only wanted to believe it was a typo in the report, which in these cases and all instances for me, never turn out to be the case. *sigh. God Fortuna seems to conspire against me all the time*.

I rushed to my doc friend with the report. Hey, it helps a lot when your classmates are surgeons and dentists. He studied the report and shot me with hoards of questions at the end of which he told me all I had to do was stop something that I had completely cultivated as a habit. The problem just lay in me eating a minimum of 2 Dairy Milk bars and two ice creams a day(sometimes 4-5) and hogging on nuts - cashews and almonds especially. This was a regular intake that kind of became a part of my life. And that happened always when I used to go out with my friends for a daily walk and on our way was an ice cream shop ;-(

It was difficult to stay away from it - yeah, that was the only solution if I were to respect the biggest gift of all - a fully functional body. and I did for two months and that was one among the worst periods of my life. At the end of it, I could kick the sh** out of the grouping glycerides. But that two months of workout and tongue-control-factor kinda set in as a habbit. I do often (read often not always) indulge myself with icecreams but the next morning, kick myself to get into the gym or atleast play.

Whenever someone gives this surprised look of me not so tempted by choclates and ice creams, well, I just smile !!! Advices dont help, do they? particularly when you are head over heels on them !!!