Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Easier said than done
Now that many people I know are in the age of getting married and especially girls, I have come across atleast a couple of girls who are so confused and lament that they want to get married to someone they know, a friend, than someone their parent choose. Perfectly reasonable. However, it should always be the guy who should make the move. Why cant it be that a girl just goes ahead and asks out the guy. Yes, there are guys who dont think it is cheap and there are guys who like outspoken girls. The guy should decide, the guy should understand them perfectly which I guess isnt a fool's task and should be ready to give up everything if need arises and sometimes the girl herself, if their parents choose not to naccept. (well, mine really dont care and thats different ;-) ) No one wants to hurt their parents. Playing safe is fine but to what extent can a guy have a clarity in mind when you do not even know if the girl really wants to get married to the guy because she loves the guy (in which she should have expressed it strongly) or just wants to get married thinking " a known devil is better than unknown angel". It doesnt seem anything more than an arranged marriage by the parents themselves when you do not know who the other person is actually. I understand it takes a lot in Indian society for a girl to get married to than for a guy. However guys have their own confusions too and they give up quite a few choices too. Most men often are not as strong as they appear to be. Hurt and pain are the same for everyone. It is very difficult to cross the line and then step back to the same. Needs a lot of maturity for sure.
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13 comments:
Exactly, easier said than done. One can say n no. of things, but u realize someone's worth when it comes to doing what they have said!
Would YOU want to get married to some one u don't even know? Its not only the girls who want to get married to some one they know, its the other way around as well. No, girls today do not think that the guy should only make the first move, the only difference being that when they say some thing they mean it, atleast those females whose words are worth some thing. If you are not ready to give up anything if the need be, then why don't you speak yer mind then and there itself ...why do u let her proceed? Or you are just not clear about yer priorities like her and if you are not then its not her fault. Why should some one else suffer for yer inadequacies? So u can have the clarity in yer mind only when a female express her feelings strongly, saying "i love u" is the only strong expression known to men i guess, apart from that whatever she says or does is not important. I guess Action speaks louder than words does not hold true for men. It seems like an arranged marriage u say, coz u dont know the other person.... but weren't u saying somewhere that u are "a known devil" to her. Or may be our definitions of knowing each other are different yet again. And then whosoever says that men are brave!
I dont have anything against guys, but girls cant be held responsible for everything! BTW, the previous comment was by me.
Ratika
"However, it should always be the guy who should make the move."
I dun understand why the guy shud be the first person...and I dun accept tat too!!
if the girl indeed likes the guy, then it is her point of view to tell him or not. and she cant keep on waiting for the guy to make the first move.
It is better to tell him wat she feels and then get rid of confusions. If the guy likes her, then fine. else the guy and the girl shud be mature enough to understand that their relationship shud continue as before. Instead of repenting for wat had happened. I mean for both the guy and the girl.
"but to what extent can a guy have a clarity in mind when you do not even know if the girl really wants to get married to the guy because she loves the guy (in which she should have expressed it strongly) or just wants to get married thinking " a known devil is better than unknown angel"."
about this, if u like someone(a friend) and feel tat they would be apt for you. (this would have developed during their times of friendship and it wud not be that she wud have taken a hasty decision - something like love at a single instant - i dun agree to tat.. it wud have come over time!!) If u really feel the guy is gud for u, the girl mite tell him her feeling. But if the guy says no, it wud be bad to keep on insisting (like how u say expressed strongly - or am I missing something??)
after a No, i guess it wud be better to stop talkin about it, unless otherwise. Just getting married to a known devil than an unknown angel. I dun accept tat. Girls (atleast as of I know)just wont marry anyone. The guy sure wud have impressed her and made an impact in some way for her to have felt tat way!! (atleast I wont!) unless she has a liking for the guy...
"It is very difficult to cross the line and then step back to the same. Needs a lot of maturity for sure."
This I accept 100% and I know many relationships that have been the same after proposals and also rnships that have broken just cos of the proposal. It indeed needs a lot of maturity, which lacks in many of the current generation also!!
have added ur link to this post in my blog!
linked ya! :)
its cos we girls still expect the guy to be a man n do it ;-)
Keshi.
Should I assume u got a proposal?? :P
It's been three weeks already and I seem to be unable to find u...
It's gonna be old news when I finally do...
knock
knock
knock
hello...anybody there?
-SB
@SB...
yep...still here...alive and kicking....
how are you?
I was wondering if you kind of withdrew after this big debate.
Glad to hear from u...
me doing well in certain areas...and not so well, infact badly in certain others!!
-SB
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