Niagara in the lights

End

Finally the day is getting over....
It isnt easy when you carry pain in your heart, longing in your soul, a nervous racus in your brain and a handful of messups @ work....the day just seems to drag forever. Its very difficult to draw the line when career and life mix up!

Easier said than done

Now that many people I know are in the age of getting married and especially girls, I have come across atleast a couple of girls who are so confused and lament that they want to get married to someone they know, a friend, than someone their parent choose. Perfectly reasonable. However, it should always be the guy who should make the move. Why cant it be that a girl just goes ahead and asks out the guy. Yes, there are guys who dont think it is cheap and there are guys who like outspoken girls. The guy should decide, the guy should understand them perfectly which I guess isnt a fool's task and should be ready to give up everything if need arises and sometimes the girl herself, if their parents choose not to naccept. (well, mine really dont care and thats different ;-) ) No one wants to hurt their parents. Playing safe is fine but to what extent can a guy have a clarity in mind when you do not even know if the girl really wants to get married to the guy because she loves the guy (in which she should have expressed it strongly) or just wants to get married thinking " a known devil is better than unknown angel". It doesnt seem anything more than an arranged marriage by the parents themselves when you do not know who the other person is actually. I understand it takes a lot in Indian society for a girl to get married to than for a guy. However guys have their own confusions too and they give up quite a few choices too. Most men often are not as strong as they appear to be. Hurt and pain are the same for everyone. It is very difficult to cross the line and then step back to the same. Needs a lot of maturity for sure.

I know not what to say,
I know not how to react,
I know which path to take,
I know not what life will offer
I know nothing is worth a tear in your eyes, not even me !

Stressed

It surprises everytime how your body demands attention from you. First symptons of stressed out body is the burning eyes, boils on the tongues. Guess I first have to settle scores with my body before I can even think about handling other important things.

On the other hand, I wonder who formed the word "Stressed" - the reverse spells "desserts" !

Is it all worth at the end?

Loneliness is terrbile....but what is even more terrible is to be surrounded by people but not able to relate to anyone....

that little time ....

Sometimes, all you need is time to think through , to explain your feelings the right way, without any misunderstanding, to make others understand what you see, without hurting them, and help them know the real you, not the you others perceive you to be.....
And time is the only thing am running short of ....and it isnt easy to make all of the above happen with a fast flowing sandclock stuck up in your A$$ !
On more than one instance, I have realised Beer doesnt help you think....It may sober you up...but it doesnt help you think clearly.....

PEI

Prince Edward Islands or PEI as it is shortly called is one of the most scenic places on Earth or so I have read. I read abt it during my first visit in 2003. But staying around 1600 kms away from it, and not with much of drivers/ interested people around, I cldnt do it then. Then in 2005, I did not want to live it alone (blinded?, probably) and this time around, I really dont care. I would like to just do it. There is a long weekend coming in April and my gut feeling is that I wouldnt find much people to accompany me on this trip. I somehow dont get it when people do not want to travel to such exotic places. Majority of the collegues that I see is interested in man-made shopping malls and concrete jungles (well, I like to travel city too) and taking pictures of themselves there and nothing more. REminds me of this guy who trekked all the way to get a glimpse of "out-of-the-world" sunrise only to see the entire sunset thru his camera lens. Well, whats the point :-) !! Anyways, I think I shd probably plan it out and see if I can make it this time around...If I choose to drive, well, am sure its gonna be one hell of a tiring drive ! 18 hours is not a easy ride for heavens sake even for a driving maniac like me !

P.S:
Do read about the Island from the above link.

Happily Alone!

Its not everyday, that you walk down in a snow storm and reach home all white and covered with flakes of snow only to make yourself a nice set of masala pappad, a hot cup of chai, and sit down with the recent book about the paintings of Leonardo (the mysterious man of a past gone era) and the man himself - all to a perfect solitude.
There are moments in life, you enjoy the solitude. An occasional thought of sharing with special ones of your heart passes through - then the silence teaches you the reality of life enuff to enjoy it with all your heart.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, I heard the constant rattling of the rain drops outside the window. And the fact that I stay in a room whose inhabitants earlier were kids, the whole of the roof is illuminated with the flourescent stars that glow in the night.
It was like lying outside on the lawn looking at the sky on a summer evening and also sitting on the window sill and listening the clattering of the rain - both at the same time.Last evening was a perfect one and the fact that am not used to the snowly life, it never dawned on me that I would wake up to a slushy irritating road after all the rain in the night. It was damned to walk on the roads this morning. But to make up for a slushy roads, I saw something wonderful that I had not seen so far. Coming down from my first floor bedroom, I saw the withered trees and their branches covered with a layer of ice all throughout. It was almost like a painting that was hung on the wall in front of me.

The last pic above is a nice macro shot that I tried with my Canon!

Whitey White !

This is my third visit to Canada. I still remember the day when I first got my chance to visit this country and people scared the hell out of me with 40 cms snow and chill and cold and what not. But I was always hoping for it because I love chilly places. well, understandable after living 25 years in the scorching sun of chennai ! The day I came, to my utter dismay,it was 38 degree Centigrade..and I lived through one more season of summer with no sight of snow that is always associated to Canada.

When I saw the news about a predicted 10 cms of snow last night, I was actually overjoyed much to the gnarls of my roommates :-) !! and I was slightly depressed when the weather was so good until this afternoon when I actually walked in just a jeans and sweater to the bank. And now when I want to go to the mall to send a snail mail back home, what do I see, layers and layers of whiteness covering everywhere. Its like everything is covered by a white blanket. Theres hardly any visibility and its already around 3-4 cms of snow. Hola, am I going to enjoy my walk back home or what !

Well, the snail mail have to still wait ! No cab is gonna come and pick me up in this snow !

I returned back early last night to my hotel room. By 7:00, I had soaked myself in a hot tub of water with lemon grass oil sprinkled in and was deep in a slumber by half past seven. I seriously wonder in what right frame of mind was I in, when even in the midst of a deep sleep (or was it a shallow?), I had called up Boston Pizza and ordered for a pizza and Garden green salad with a pop. The guy had apparently knocked on my door 30 mins later which fell into the deaf ears of your highness. He had to actually ring my intercom a coupla of times before he could deliver the pizza. Now that the sleep was disturbed, I sluggishly finished the pizza and called up my friends and family back home, then decided to buy in a movie. And trust me, I bought in a movie at the Hotel that absolutely did not justify the $12.99 I paid for it - Casino Royale. This classifies to be one of the most dumbest James Bond movie I have ever watched. This was the only James Bond movie I hadnt watched and that completed the equation, but I guess I would wanted it to be an exception. It just isnt a Bond movie at all.

Well its been snowing around today and as is my wont, I took a stroll outside in the snow !

Freedom !!!

You take a flight, land in a new place, new country, go over to the counter, rent a cab, take a map, drive down to your destination. Well, easier said than done ! But trust me, theres nothing like it when you are eligible and licensed to do all of it. That surely is freedom ! And when you are coming back to the same place again, well, its as good as coming home !! :-)

Have reported back to work in BellVille, to a warm welcome by everyone around - the place hasnt changed much except for the fact that its snowy all around, with spine chilling and in my case, teeth chilling cold. I took a stroll to a few places that I had promised myself to be back, albeit not alone, but unfortunately all alone ! Cldnt help but wonder things could have been different, should have been different.

Time to hunt for a place to stay and if I'm lucky, I must be getting a Bachelor's acco soon with no worries of pesting roommates ;-) ! Wonder when did I start such an aversion to roommates?

Gone with the Wind !

You know any close relationship has waned, the feelings have hit the bottom, that its time for you to treasure the memories and move ahead(with a faint hope of rediscovering the same at a later point of time, if destiny wills) - when people stop addressing you by name, the familiar nicks no longer are used, mails/letters start with a Hey, Hi, things that were interestingly shared are sent as FYI on a group alias and sometimes after reminders. Well, lifes like that - a string of memories !

On a different note, sometimes people humble me with their love. Like my granny who at her age of 88, made the food i liked even if it was 11:00 in the night or 4:30 in the morning to drive to bangalore - the reason, I might miss my favourite food for quite some time to come and she - not sure of how long she can hold onto her dear life. Well, grandma, thanks for all that you are. I'm what I'm mostly because of you and I absolutely adore you for your strength and character!

On the way ...

Very often, I have ppl tell me that I must be crazy to drive so often to Chennai. Well, I AM crazy about driving, but more than that, I sometimes get very nice moments during the travel that I can treasure, like these!

Started a little late on Friday evening and the almost full moon just took my breath away. It was my guiding moon bathing me with moonlight all through the way. I stopped over at a nice point and watched the moon rise up and above until it was brilliant white. Boy, dont I love my Canon with a 12X Optical zoom. Wonder what add-on lenses can do to this piece !

I usually start very early in the morning from chennai on Mondays, and not so surprisingly, reach office much earlier than if I stay in Bangalore ;-). And these days, the vast fields covered with white layers of morning mist and a rising sun behind, blinding your eyes through the rear view, is an awesome company to drive. Well along with a coffee, its just about perfect.
We need Baristas and CCDs on NH 7. Couldnt resist stopping over, enjoying it and completing my packed breakfast @ sunrise. Pleasant start to the week !

P.S:
I shd be putting these pics on moi travel blog @ http://bim-bam.blogspot.com. I guess I have become lazy having two blogs ;-) ! However, hope to have lotsa updates coming in the travel blog in a months time when I wld be travelling a lot lot more !

Ha !

A whirlwind of a weekend and before I can even write about it, another half of a week is already gone *sigh*....Now that there arent many weekends here at my disposal, and loads of things to be taken care of, all I could ask for is time. Wish a day had 48 hours instead *a vey big sigh* !

I wasnt very keen when my friends wanted to plan for something as I had lotsa pending things, especially a coupla bills to be taken care of, however, when they barged into my house early morning(read it as 5:30 Am) on Friday and packing my things, I couldnt say a No (my problem always). Neither did I imagine, I would have to drive the vehicle for the next 45 hours with just a break for the night @ a friend's coffee estate only to wake upto a beautiful sunrise.

I found myself taking people around as I had already been to the tourist places in Coorg. Every place, I visited, I was reminded of the first trip of mine to this place. Wish those times had stayed and as they say, Every good thing has to come to an end and so it came. Be it the Hilltown hotel / Nisargadhama / Thala cauvery / Buddhist monastery, I found myself reminiscing the past memories more than enjoying the present. Except that this time around , I was driving a new Hyundai getz through the curvy hill roads. We were driving through remote villages to reach the coffee estate in the late night when we switched off the head lights only to feel a bursting peak of adrenalin thru us.

A drive for few more seconds would have resulted in an accident or if there wasnt one, we wld have died of fear. All scary thoughts ran thru all our heads and I suddenly decided to stop the vehicle in the dark on the mountain towards the estate. We switched off even the cell phones to bask in the moon lit estate wilderness.

After 45 hours of travelling, I found myself in home only for a day of pub hopping and treating ourselves to an awesome spread of food.

BTW, visited The Legends last tuesday to catch up with some live music from a band called Altered Spaces for which a cousin of my friend plays guitar for. Hope to upload the video here. Check out in a couple of days.

I wonder, is it because my days here are numbered for a long time to come, that I'm not able to keep up with my schedule. My lifestyle suddenly seems like something straight out of a novel with pubs, food, music and travel one overlapping the other. Well, whateva, I surely am enjoying it !

Adorning beauties !

What do I sport these days especially when I drive?


What adorns my desk these days?

Internet as a battleground ?

It might be too early in my mind to form an opinion and I havent thought to myself yet, analysing what my stand is with regards to such developments, but the following articles did realyl make me sit back and want to spend time thinking how it would be in the future. Will internet be a battle ground?

Crazy Wikileaks

Do u use Google Earth?

And you thought I'm mad @ customer support for no reasons?

The Three of Us

Sometimes you read a book and identify the emotional journey of the characters with yourself. At times during such a read, you stop and think over "Gosh, its so like my thoughts, the emotions that I went through" and you realise theres so much in common with the fiction and real life. Oh well, it is bound to be as fiction, as I believe is just an extension of the real life. I picked up,"The three of us" by Abha Daweswar for the language based on my earlier read of her - "That Summer in Paris". But except that this time, I was in for a different treat. I was left wondering if it was indeed a lady who wrote this book (no offense meant) for the treatment of very intricate emotions of a man trying to identify his own sexuality. It was like the author had magically stepped into the thought process of a man. The novel just breezes through the lifestyle of a young Manhattan investment banker, laden with some hilarious moments and dialogues and sometimes, profound words. I'm looking forward to read "Babyji" which again is an emotional journey of a girl that had won her a literature award.

Whine and Dine !

A wannabe-restaurateur myself - towards which I have already made my clear cut plans, and as a person who likes to wine and dine at all places and all foods (vegetarian) possible in the globe, well, all i can say about this article is, Been-There-Faced-That !

Winding up for the year @ Work !

Nothing feels great than to have a very positive value adding result to the last design meeting of the year. There has to be a logical explanation to everything in software, you just cant wipe your hands off the problems and what else would be a better note to end the year than cracking a serious problem that the team has been sitting over for long time now, that you know for sure is gonna be appreciated. Its time for celebrations every where and the client goes on a vacation starting tomorrow, so its decided to be a party time tomorrow afternoon for the team which has been longing to go out now. And I couldnt be in a better mood than this after what I heard during the lunch.(see my previous post).

BTW, I picked up twobooks from the library this morning - "The three of Us" by Abha Daweswar and "Through Krishna's Eyes" by Sunny Singh. I read "That Summer in Paris" by former author and I liked the language, that I went and picked it up. Hope its interesting too.