Hola !

I did not visit this site for quite a long time, as is obvious.

Interestingly, out of the blue I had a dream about the blogs I used to visit a few days back and curiously enough I had no idea why I had to have that dream and totally forgot about it - that is until this evening....I was busy working my way on a presentation due to be presented to the leadership a week from now when I was again reminded of a particular site I used to visit for the paintings and lo - there were three things that made me smile
1. there were more paintings (I dont know why I never pushed myself to try it enough though I love that form of art - is it a fear of failure, I know not !)
2. It made me curious to see if anyone really visited my blogs during my absence - and apparently they did and a few left comments too :-) Interesting!
3. It made me give a whack to myself for being focused on work and studies when I cld give myself a break and decided its time to move my a$$ to ooty in the first week of march. So, here I come Queen of Mountains !

Thanks to all those visitors who viewed this space when I did not !

Technology

When I signed up for my MBA , I didnt realise how much I would depend on technology at odd places to finish my exams. It was a Online MBA, but the pure power of online learning was unleashed to me when I actually completed my assignment and project and submitted in on time - all the while sitting in London's Heathrow Airport Lounge.
Earlier in the week, I had stressed myself with having to lose all my efforts of three months just because I'm travelling over the weekend when my assingment/ project is due not to mention the fast coming exam of the subject.

But when I got down LHR and had a couple of hours to spend before flying on my way to LA, I used the good speed Wi-fi access to complete everything on time and submit and not having to send a sorry mail to the professor.

Technology rules !

Learning to sketch in Pen finally !

Wish I cld try more !

Waking upto blogo-memories !

Its been ages since I last visited my own space here that it makes me feel that I have grown old by a decade. This morning I woke up to old memories from the past, of the friends made, of the bloggers met, of the thoughts exchanged, of the mindless banters and of the coffee sipped. It brought a smile to my face early in the morning that I even skipped my breakfast (I gotto admit that I woke up too late for it). Anyways, so what am I doing here? It feels so strange that I think I forgot how to write, or shd I say how to type. I dont even know if anyone is still wandering along this space hoping that I would indeed wake up from my deep slumber. Ah...now that brings me a favourite qoute of mine about hope to my mind.


Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness - The Architect in The Matrix Reloaded.

So ironical that the source of our greatest strength lies in our weakness ! Isnt it what makes the world go around? At times, you come across people or situations, you feel so great and strongly about that you would so gladly deny what lies in front of you - the changing truth ! But its this charactersitic of truth - change - that hope musters strength from that it makes you strive for, work hard while simulataneously pushing you to live in a denial at present!

An ill fated Sunday

Death is not news to me or for that matter most of us. I have received news of strangers, friends and distant family member’s expiry at odd times, mostly with someone shaking me and waking me up to it. Dont know if it was the disturbance to sleep, but I have never felt anything much. Infact it was strange that I feel odd in a way that sadness never engulfs me at such events. Even when a case of heart attack and a breast cancer hit my parents, it was something of a feeling that never meant anything more than a few seconds for me. I refused to believe they will die and so it happened. They are healthy today. On a more personal note, I have had a couple of brushes with it myself, when I slipped on the foot board of the train (or the bus in another instance) or the excruciating pain when I hurt my spine while bowling. But the seriousness of it never struck me. It all changed the last sunday.
Last sunday, I was packing my bags for the evening train to bangalore when the kid in the apartment came over and told me “your granny slipped the gate and is lying on the road”. I ran and there she was, her legs giving away and trembling. She was putting all her effort in getting up but in vain and writhing in pain. I lifted her up and realised something wrong with her foot, so carried her away and sat her on the sofa. My immediate reaction was to shout at her (out of genuine concern) “Why the hell did you do it. You are old for heavens sake. How many times have I told you to take care? Why the **** dont you listen to me?” These words will stay with me and hurt me for ever, though I know she will never take it seriously or will forgive only with an understanding she can exude for she knows that she matters to me the most - more than my parents or love, ever will. May be I never associated death to a person who matters to me the most and that made all the difference.
The slope that she tried to climb down was notorious for kids and old people and after all these years, her legs gave her away. At this time, shes been taken to the hospital after a hip fracture and waiting for better diagnosis results.
It has shown me death closest to my face than any incidents have ever shown me. Suddenly the whole truth of our vulnerability to death lies stark naked in front of my eyes and refuses to budge. Its a deep sad feeling that tugs your heart making you feel so sick and helpless. At her age of 90, it is going to be one strong struggle to get out of it and I’m counting on her never-say-die-attitude, to beat it and get up in a few months. I have been amazed at her all through my life and if I’m ever anything today in life, its all because of her. It is no easy deal for a country bred tam bram lady who married at 13 and became a widow @ 28, penniless with three kids walking to the streets of chennai, to make a life and a life she did make, for all of us. For all the struggles she has gone through, I wish her journey to the end is as peaceful as it can be. I’m sure I will do what it takes to get her out of the bed, but this is against a force that you can only wage a fight with all your might, but still hope for the best of the luck to be on your side.

Global Warming, Abrupt Climate Change and Ecological Sustainability

Well, most of us must be introduced to these terms one way or the other and if you belong to a corporate world (which is why you are seeing this blog), you must know by now that Green is everywhere so much that if you dont introduce green and ecological sustenance in any topic, its not complete. I remember seeing ads and notices on TV, infact doordarshan to be specific atleast almost two decades back asking not to waste electricity or water. Somehow suddenly everyone wakes up - may be due to the huge hue and cry and join the wagon without probably not knowing where it is headed to or why should you be there in the first place.

The key words are green house effect, global warming and abrupt climate change
Note:
Please leave your version of the defintion of these terms (ofcourse without googling it). It will probably share our own perspectives on these seemingly most important words.

The reason for putting up this post was - first it was green house effect leading to global warming, to glaciers melting and doomsday of earth consumed by water body. Sounded very scary and convincing. Then started the reports of how the glaciers are growing - Check out the newspapers next to you or google or blackle . (for sample, check this or this ). By the way many of the glaciers are growing and scientists are coming up with “n” different answers all the time. Oh ok, seems like increased CO2 by human activities alone is not a convincing answer. Devoid of any explanation of this contradicting observation to the concept of global warming, we resorted to the next in the list - abrupt climate change. Its easy to associate that we are responsible…ah, atleast one thing that we as humans take responsibility for. Its also true to a extent that many of the inferences that are reported are based on climate simulations based on our predicting system. There doesnt seem to be (atleast whatever links I have read so far) much real world scientic data recorded on the field and those that have been recorded are inconsistent not helping much in drawing conclusions.

Ofcourse weather is a complex system and there is every possibility that we are undergoing a climate change because of various reasons. May be WE ARE one among the reasons. May be volcanic activities all around the world, even under antartic could add on to the reason, May be tsunamis add up to0. But to credit ourselves to be the only reason for it and to think of the fact that we can control it ourselves is a little too much of ourselves. The offshoot of which now appears to be the recent buzz word green technology and ecological sustainability.

I’m not against these words or people promoting it. I think they are an important aspect for a better life but reacting so strongly doesnt gel well with me. The more imminent thing to look at is recycling. (I understand its part of ecological sustainability).If we have to start about conservation, I’m not sure where would we start and where would we end. What would we stop and what would we acceptably continue? Look at our daily life, is it possible to forego atleast 10% of it? Look at the number of mineral ores we extract - should we or can we stop all this? What we make is what we take from here. Yes, it is necessary to be judicious in usage, but with the numbers we have and motives we have as individuals, is it possible?

We come here, we use the resources to live and we leave this place. There is nothing thats gonna change that fundamental equation of life. And so is climate, it has changed, is changing and will change. And there probably would be a time when the molecule that made the world will reduce / increase in its availability in the atmosphere….and there would be changes that atleast I wont be aware of. Till then, I will do what it takes to be a human - show compassion for other living things and try to exist in harmony with them, if not help them, atleast not harm them and deprive them of their chance to get a shot at life- That probably is what Ecological sustainability is all about for me !

DISCLAIMER
Some of the links in this post may seem outdated. It is upto the reader to have their own opinions (which I think most bloggers anyways do). Its only a certain chain of thoughts and any subsequent discussion on the topic is always welcome.
Some links that I read are

http://www.giss.nasa.gov/research/briefs/shindell_04/
http://environment.newscientist.com/channel/earth/climate-change
http://www.greenlearning.ca/climate/science/human-influence

Story on Dollar Bubble

I happened to chance upon this link that attempts (fact or fiction I know not) to detail the economic crisis in US and the precendents to it. Click here for the article
DISCLAIMER:
I have no authenticity for this article or the contents there in.

The Elephant(al) Growth

I was watching “the elephant” in Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. Now this post is not a criticsm of what he says or arguments against it. But it is the thought that came into my mind when I was watching it.
The elephant graph in Al Gore’s presentation signifies how it took 10000 years for humans to double their numbers from 1bn to 2 bn but less than a generation to grow to ~8bn. He concludes that “something is terribly wrong right now”.. (Note: the numbers are from my memory)
I think what if the “terribly wrong” thing thats happening is the homo sapien’s way of adapting itself so that when a huge turn about hits the earth in this “age” (earth is classified into numerous ages) which probably may be the only way to survive any damage in terms of numbers?
Preposterous idea - you think. May be. Sounds like a good reason why population should explode.

However, if we really look at it, I dont think anyone would counter the fact that Earth is always changing or rather the universe. Its in a constant change. (anyone who doesnt believe in this should ideally stop reading further).
This is how it is supposed to have evolved. [Source :Wikipedia on Continental Drift
The Supercontinent or the Pangaea was one single piece of land mass that has been pushed and pulled to the various forces thus giving rise to various theories depending on what was assumed to be the reason. It has gone through changes, life has evolved and the ones that were able to adapt has stayed on. And the most intelligent of the species that has adapted itself is probably the Homo Sapiens. Why should it be preposterous to think that way?

Belief !

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.

Frank Lloyd Right.

Eid Mubarak !

To all muslims, Eid Mubarak.
I was reading the newspaper when I came upon a distressing article. Around 3 dozens of camel have been brought from Rajasthan to Chennai and awaiting their execution, or shd I rather say, sacrifice? No, am not against meat lovers, I'm not claiming I havent had them (though I dont eat anymore), nor I believe it to be a sin.
However, the very thought of getting the animals all the way to satisfy the taste buds in the name of religion and rituals, that really pains me. Now, having camel meat as part of the celebrations in middle east is different. The flora and fauna of a geography surely evolves the habits and rituals of a culture and a religion. And to indulge like this because there is enough of money power and in the name of religion, I think it is atrocious. Isnt it enough that we have wiped off many hundred species of nature from our country? Do we add these to the list? I'm not even sure if people would really like camel meat over the beef or just to follow the original traditions as it is followed by the place of origin of the religion? Does that make them more religious? And sad but true, even among my friends I have come across people whose heart is elsewhere from the country that has always been theirs. Even in as simple things as Cricket which almost if of any significance at all, when its India vs any toher country, its India and when its India Vs Pakistan, its pakistan. It disheartens my heart to see such opinions. I know the last couple of statements are touchy subject to many people, and I aint typecasting anyone here. But nevertheless its sad....and to come back to my original subject. Blue Cross - a society that is close to my heart for the service they render and as a regular contributor feel proud that they stand up and fight against this slaughtering of camels. However, there is a injunction according to Section 28 (If I remember right) that the constitution provides. According to this, slaughtering of animals on religious occasions is allowed. I guess, it wont be far off before we have all the animals tagged endangered species, except ofcourse for humans !

Note:
The way the camels are killed, I hear is in a gruesome manner and it takes close to around 2 hours for the camels to die.

Surprise - A reasonable house owner in Bangalore.

I had to pay my first month rent to the owner. I had been really satisfied with the house, its location, its maintenance. I had been trying to catch hold of him for the last few days but couldnt. I was determined to be a reasonable man and pay of my rent within the 5th of every month. Afterall, everyone has their own needs and expectation and a money that comes in late can really skew your lifestyle and your commitments considerably. Who else can know it better than one who has not received his complete payslip(oh goddamnit not even 25 % of my promised payslip) for more than two months now, thanks to our payroll team's misplaced records and great functioning. Even a government office would have responded out of pity for the number of emails sent on this. No matter what levels of escalations are made, yet, words dont seem to transform into action. *sigh* Today is the last day of a "1 week time" from the Human Resources to sort out my issue and well, I dont have any hopes of it. You say I'm a pessimist, I think I understand inefficiency. All this story apart, I know its painful if you dont receive the due amount in the right time.

And boy oh boy, wasnt I pleasantly surprised when the owner took the money only for 25 days I stayed in the house for the last month. And he didnt lay any charges for the water nor electricity for the first month. I have never seen this happen in Bangalore in the numerous houses that I have shifted. Once I had rented a co-worker's place and he charged me even for the light bulb in the house. And everytime I vacate the place, I lose atleast a couple of thousands in various charges the house owners levy( and inspite of keeping the house clean and nice) and my rental agreement always says a 10% increase YoY in the rent. And this new house ( yep, its nicely built new house) owner has a clause of 5 % YoY and also acted a reasonable man when he charged only for 25 days. It isnt a big deal to pay the extra 5 days but a reasonable house onwer is hard to find in Bangalore.Forget reasonable house owners, reasonable men are hard to find here !

Managers - Damagers

They are the species with the shortest possible attention span. And if you could gather their attention for more than 10 minutes with not one of them speaking a word, I bet you are a genius but I will wonder why you are amongst them in that case?

Put a bunch of them together,simplest equation will look the most complex thing ever found on this earth. However, an enormous exchange of words will ensue (called brainstorming), sometimes not found in the vocabulary of 80% of the population (no prize for guessing the remaining 20%) beating about every strategy and counterstrategies that can ever be employed, and finally a solution will be arrived at. How? Formulate a sentence with a word from every mouth so that everyone has their say. In the end if you decipher and decode that convulted sentence,
you will precisely find that very first statement of yours.

This is the same species that demand smart work while they get into a meeting and sit there with not even a wee bit interest in what is spoken about, happily sending personal emails from their laptops and nibbling around your ear with incessant talks. Its a pity to witness a dozen members of the species waste two hours of their time,
- almost two full business days while the rest of the community are asked to slog their way. We, techies, are wretched souls.

Twisted Fate

Theres only one way to live - face it !

However, there are times when you dont want something, dont want to be reminded, dont want to see yourself or others, dont want to take the path down the memory lane, not because you are afraid it, but because it is wise to leave things as it is, without any questions, any complaints. Those are times when you dont want to see yourself in the mirror, for the reflection might show a tattered soul, reminding of things lost and defeats accepted with as much grace as possible. Fate has its own twisted logic. It is exactly when you want to be away, to feel at peace for a while, everything opens right in front of you.It springs up when you least expect it and on your face.And when you do face it,the pain it brings, the suddent surge of sadness that originates in those walls of your heart, gushing into your arteries making you gasp for your breath, that one moment when everything seizes, makes you wish you were dead instead. And when there is no more pain, no more sadness that your heart can ooze out into the veins, when your head is clear, you take it with a smile, you wish the best and get back to this moment, knowing that sooner or later, your heart will be conditioned for this too as it always has. Afterall, its life - face it.

Animosity

Animosity

I think most of us would have heard about the outsourcing cries made in the west and the animosity displayed. However, in my career of IT experience spanning around 8 years now, I have never directly encountered any form of remarks or animosity being displayed @ work, though I have seen such remarks when I walk on the roads.
I believed even if people felt hostile, they limit their behaviours within professional ethics and thats the kind of people I have interacted with. For the first time, I found someone reacting otherwise and for what? a chair?

I had promised a client designer(Sri Lankan immigrant) last evening that I will look into her issue first thing in the morning. As soon as I came in, she called me in. I sat in her chair to fix the issue while she sat on the desk. After a while, she got a chair and a few minutes later, I gave some suggestions and got up to leave. I turned around and had this another client designer Chinese immigrant) standing right upto my face and exclaiming "Ah, so you took my chair". The lady tried to explain that she had borrowed it for herself for a little while, which went unheaded and the guy said in a hostile pitch, his face showing such a hatred, "Why not take my job too?". Well, I do not get into verbal wars @ work place, so, I looked back at him eye-to-eye and left the place.

Later when I think about it, it is interesting, two immigrants from neighbouring countries of mine, who have come here in search of the same thing that everyone aspire for, a better life with more luxury. And incidentally, this guy rents out apartment to contractors like me for two reasons. No one pays that money he quotes for that house. We do not demand like the rest of the tenants do. We need a place for a couple of months and we are ready to compromise, which he clearly takes advantage of. Why would you carry such a spite and show displeasure at something as simple as borrowing a chair? No questions whether I consider it to be immature, but all this hype about grabbing jobs etc etc in a period of globalization and smaller distances? It beats me. How would it be if there is a restriction that Coke cannot sell anywhere outside America or Americans cannot have Japanese cars? Will the companies be as global as they are or will the people be satisfied with inferior products? On one hand, people go and buy products from China because they are cheap and on the other, fight about sending the work there?

The truth is - "There is nothing of any importance in life-except how well u do your work.Nothing.Only that. Whatever else u r will come from that."

P.S
@ SB,
well, am back after a long time. Thanks for still reading me. I would like to touch base with you when I return, that is if you are interested.

Movie Monday !

On a lazy Monday afternoon,I decided to watch this movie "Paruthi Veeran". Somehow this movie had been eluding me for quite some time now. So when I saw the movie at my friend's place, I picked it up. One of the reason I picked it up was for the fact that the Hero - Karthik studied in the same college and I had interacted long time back between a common group of friends. Times change and people change, so I thought let me see how he has faired as an actor. Ofcourse, he did a commendable job for a first movie. On the whole it was a well made movie but somehow a certain sense of characterisation was missing in the lead male role. Ofcourse, it kept the character very much alive and realistic but it was smudged with a certain sense of commercialism that did not quite judge well. I even wondered why would someone want to select such a role for a first movie. Another aspect of the movie that bothered me was the camera work and the colors used. I'm not sure if its because of the small screen version, but the "sun dried" color of the frames through out the movie kept the story realistic and yet was sometimes too over powering. All in all, a good attempt but left me with a heavy heart because of its story line and the climax.

So to loosen up a little bit, I played the movie that almost all of the tamilnadu like unanimously - Kaakha Kaakha. Incidentally, the hero of this movie - Surya is the brother of Karthik. Sketched to perfection, I believe it was the powerful characterisations of the lead roles that took this movie to be in my all time favourite list.

Zoom !!!

This is what I wld call a "F_ _kin Zoom" !!!

http://www.docbert.org/MP/

A casual remark !

I have everything that I would ever need - NOTHING !

Romancing the Moon

Been a long time since I toyed around with my camera...
I was reading a book on my bed when I saw this really nice moon (didnt someone say it was Buddha Poornima yesterday? ) staring at me through the window. Decided to take a snap of it....Boy, I do love my zoom, dont I?

hmm...

I have found the paradox, if you love so much until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
---- Mother Teresa on Love.

Interesting...so what do u think?

Its very funny how things unfold in your life. They say history repeats itself. But I guess in my case it is more than once. 2003 saw me as lost soul trying to get a grip on life. The cycle repeated in 2005 and well, its again repeating in 2007, except that this time, I tend to believe I can make it through.

And very funnily, all the three times, things happen at around the same time of the year in a certain way. Come back after a brief stay away with loads of hope but being left with nothing more than an emptiness. Then it starts all over again. Serendipity - I always associated it with good things. But in my case, cant really say why it chooses to end with a lost feeling.

The only saving grace about all the events.....I dont have reason to feel guilty.....I dont find a stranger in my mirror staring back at me....I never gave up on anyone even though people have given up on me or situations forced them to!