Elixir of Life!

Hola !

2011-02-22T05:10:00.000-08:00

I did not visit this site for quite a long time, as is obvious.

Interestingly, out of the blue I had a dream about the blogs I used to visit a few days back and curiously enough I had no idea why I had to have that dream and totally forgot about it - that is until this evening....I was busy working my way on a presentation due to be presented to the leadership a week from now when I was again reminded of a particular site I used to visit for the paintings and lo - there were three things that made me smile
1. there were more paintings (I dont know why I never pushed myself to try it enough though I love that form of art - is it a fear of failure, I know not !)
2. It made me curious to see if anyone really visited my blogs during my absence - and apparently they did and a few left comments too :-) Interesting!
3. It made me give a whack to myself for being focused on work and studies when I cld give myself a break and decided its time to move my a$$ to ooty in the first week of march. So, here I come Queen of Mountains !

Thanks to all those visitors who viewed this space when I did not !

Technology

2009-07-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

When I signed up for my MBA , I didnt realise how much I would depend on technology at odd places to finish my exams. It was a Online MBA, but the pure power of online learning was unleashed to me when I actually completed my assignment and project and submitted in on time - all the while sitting in London's Heathrow Airport Lounge.
Earlier in the week, I had stressed myself with having to lose all my efforts of three months just because I'm travelling over the weekend when my assingment/ project is due not to mention the fast coming exam of the subject.

But when I got down LHR and had a couple of hours to spend before flying on my way to LA, I used the good speed Wi-fi access to complete everything on time and submit and not having to send a sorry mail to the professor.

Technology rules !

Learning to sketch in Pen finally !

2009-07-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

Wish I cld try more !

Waking upto blogo-memories !

2009-07-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

Its been ages since I last visited my own space here that it makes me feel that I have grown old by a decade. This morning I woke up to old memories from the past, of the friends made, of the bloggers met, of the thoughts exchanged, of the mindless banters and of the coffee sipped. It brought a smile to my face early in the morning that I even skipped my breakfast (I gotto admit that I woke up too late for it). Anyways, so what am I doing here? It feels so strange that I think I forgot how to write, or shd I say how to type. I dont even know if anyone is still wandering along this space hoping that I would indeed wake up from my deep slumber. Ah...now that brings me a favourite qoute of mine about hope to my mind.

Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness - The Architect in The Matrix Reloaded.

So ironical that the source of our greatest strength lies in our weakness ! Isnt it what makes the world go around? At times, you come across people or situations, you feel so great and strongly about that you would so gladly deny what lies in front of you - the changing truth ! But its this charactersitic of truth - change - that hope musters strength from that it makes you strive for, work hard while simulataneously pushing you to live in a denial at present!

An ill fated Sunday

2008-08-01T06:57:00.001-07:00

Death is not news to me or for that matter most of us. I have received news of strangers, friends and distant family member’s expiry at odd times, mostly with someone shaking me and waking me up to it. Dont know if it was the disturbance to sleep, but I have never felt anything much. Infact it was strange that I feel odd in a way that sadness never engulfs me at such events. Even when a case of heart attack and a breast cancer hit my parents, it was something of a feeling that never meant anything more than a few seconds for me. I refused to believe they will die and so it happened. They are healthy today. On a more personal note, I have had a couple of brushes with it myself, when I slipped on the foot board of the train (or the bus in another instance) or the excruciating pain when I hurt my spine while bowling. But the seriousness of it never struck me. It all changed the last sunday.
Last sunday, I was packing my bags for the evening train to bangalore when the kid in the apartment came over and told me “your granny slipped the gate and is lying on the road”. I ran and there she was, her legs giving away and trembling. She was putting all her effort in getting up but in vain and writhing in pain. I lifted her up and realised something wrong with her foot, so carried her away and sat her on the sofa. My immediate reaction was to shout at her (out of genuine concern) “Why the hell did you do it. You are old for heavens sake. How many times have I told you to take care? Why the **** dont you listen to me?” These words will stay with me and hurt me for ever, though I know she will never take it seriously or will forgive only with an understanding she can exude for she knows that she matters to me the most - more than my parents or love, ever will. May be I never associated death to a person who matters to me the most and that made all the difference.
The slope that she tried to climb down was notorious for kids and old people and after all these years, her legs gave her away. At this time, shes been taken to the hospital after a hip fracture and waiting for better diagnosis results.
It has shown me death closest to my face than any incidents have ever shown me. Suddenly the whole truth of our vulnerability to death lies stark naked in front of my eyes and refuses to budge. Its a deep sad feeling that tugs your heart making you feel so sick and helpless. At her age of 90, it is going to be one strong struggle to get out of it and I’m counting on her never-say-die-attitude, to beat it and get up in a few months. I have been amazed at her all through my life and if I’m ever anything today in life, its all because of her. It is no easy deal for a country bred tam bram lady who married at 13 and became a widow @ 28, penniless with three kids walking to the streets of chennai, to make a life and a life she did make, for all of us. For all the struggles she has gone through, I wish her journey to the end is as peaceful as it can be. I’m sure I will do what it takes to get her out of the bed, but this is against a force that you can only wage a fight with all your might, but still hope for the best of the luck to be on your side.

Global Warming, Abrupt Climate Change and Ecological Sustainability

2008-07-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well, most of us must be introduced to these terms one way or the other and if you belong to a corporate world (which is why you are seeing this blog), you must know by now that Green is everywhere so much that if you dont introduce green and ecological sustenance in any topic, its not complete. I remember seeing ads and notices on TV, infact doordarshan to be specific atleast almost two decades back asking not to waste electricity or water. Somehow suddenly everyone wakes up - may be due to the huge hue and cry and join the wagon without probably not knowing where it is headed to or why should you be there in the first place.

The key words are green house effect, global warming and abrupt climate change
Note:
Please leave your version of the defintion of these terms (ofcourse without googling it). It will probably share our own perspectives on these seemingly most important words.

The reason for putting up this post was - first it was green house effect leading to global warming, to glaciers melting and doomsday of earth consumed by water body. Sounded very scary and convincing. Then started the reports of how the glaciers are growing - Check out the newspapers next to you or google or blackle . (for sample, check this or this ). By the way many of the glaciers are growing and scientists are coming up with “n” different answers all the time. Oh ok, seems like increased CO2 by human activities alone is not a convincing answer. Devoid of any explanation of this contradicting observation to the concept of global warming, we resorted to the next in the list - abrupt climate change. Its easy to associate that we are responsible…ah, atleast one thing that we as humans take responsibility for. Its also true to a extent that many of the inferences that are reported are based on climate simulations based on our predicting system. There doesnt seem to be (atleast whatever links I have read so far) much real world scientic data recorded on the field and those that have been recorded are inconsistent not helping much in drawing conclusions.

Ofcourse weather is a complex system and there is every possibility that we are undergoing a climate change because of various reasons. May be WE ARE one among the reasons. May be volcanic activities all around the world, even under antartic could add on to the reason, May be tsunamis add up to0. But to credit ourselves to be the only reason for it and to think of the fact that we can control it ourselves is a little too much of ourselves. The offshoot of which now appears to be the recent buzz word green technology and ecological sustainability.

I’m not against these words or people promoting it. I think they are an important aspect for a better life but reacting so strongly doesnt gel well with me. The more imminent thing to look at is recycling. (I understand its part of ecological sustainability).If we have to start about conservation, I’m not sure where would we start and where would we end. What would we stop and what would we acceptably continue? Look at our daily life, is it possible to forego atleast 10% of it? Look at the number of mineral ores we extract - should we or can we stop all this? What we make is what we take from here. Yes, it is necessary to be judicious in usage, but with the numbers we have and motives we have as individuals, is it possible?

We come here, we use the resources to live and we leave this place. There is nothing thats gonna change that fundamental equation of life. And so is climate, it has changed, is changing and will change. And there probably would be a time when the molecule that made the world will reduce / increase in its availability in the atmosphere….and there would be changes that atleast I wont be aware of. Till then, I will do what it takes to be a human - show compassion for other living things and try to exist in harmony with them, if not help them, atleast not harm them and deprive them of their chance to get a shot at life- That probably is what Ecological sustainability is all about for me !

DISCLAIMER
Some of the links in this post may seem outdated. It is upto the reader to have their own opinions (which I think most bloggers anyways do). Its only a certain chain of thoughts and any subsequent discussion on the topic is always welcome.
Some links that I read are

http://www.giss.nasa.gov/research/briefs/shindell_04/
http://environment.newscientist.com/channel/earth/climate-change
http://www.greenlearning.ca/climate/science/human-influence

Story on Dollar Bubble

2008-07-16T02:53:00.000-07:00

I happened to chance upon this link that attempts (fact or fiction I know not) to detail the economic crisis in US and the precendents to it. Click here for the article
DISCLAIMER:
I have no authenticity for this article or the contents there in.

The Elephant(al) Growth

2008-07-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

I was watching “the elephant” in Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. Now this post is not a criticsm of what he says or arguments against it. But it is the thought that came into my mind when I was watching it.
The elephant graph in Al Gore’s presentation signifies how it took 10000 years for humans to double their numbers from 1bn to 2 bn but less than a generation to grow to ~8bn. He concludes that “something is terribly wrong right now”.. (Note: the numbers are from my memory)
I think what if the “terribly wrong” thing thats happening is the homo sapien’s way of adapting itself so that when a huge turn about hits the earth in this “age” (earth is classified into numerous ages) which probably may be the only way to survive any damage in terms of numbers?
Preposterous idea - you think. May be. Sounds like a good reason why population should explode.

However, if we really look at it, I dont think anyone would counter the fact that Earth is always changing or rather the universe. Its in a constant change. (anyone who doesnt believe in this should ideally stop reading further).
This is how it is supposed to have evolved. [Source :Wikipedia on Continental Drift
The Supercontinent or the Pangaea was one single piece of land mass that has been pushed and pulled to the various forces thus giving rise to various theories depending on what was assumed to be the reason. It has gone through changes, life has evolved and the ones that were able to adapt has stayed on. And the most intelligent of the species that has adapted itself is probably the Homo Sapiens. Why should it be preposterous to think that way?

Belief !

2008-01-08T01:48:00.000-08:00

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.

Frank Lloyd Right.

Eid Mubarak !

2007-12-19T00:03:00.000-08:00

To all muslims, Eid Mubarak.
I was reading the newspaper when I came upon a distressing article. Around 3 dozens of camel have been brought from Rajasthan to Chennai and awaiting their execution, or shd I rather say, sacrifice? No, am not against meat lovers, I'm not claiming I havent had them (though I dont eat anymore), nor I believe it to be a sin.
However, the very thought of getting the animals all the way to satisfy the taste buds in the name of religion and rituals, that really pains me. Now, having camel meat as part of the celebrations in middle east is different. The flora and fauna of a geography surely evolves the habits and rituals of a culture and a religion. And to indulge like this because there is enough of money power and in the name of religion, I think it is atrocious. Isnt it enough that we have wiped off many hundred species of nature from our country? Do we add these to the list? I'm not even sure if people would really like camel meat over the beef or just to follow the original traditions as it is followed by the place of origin of the religion? Does that make them more religious? And sad but true, even among my friends I have come across people whose heart is elsewhere from the country that has always been theirs. Even in as simple things as Cricket which almost if of any significance at all, when its India vs any toher country, its India and when its India Vs Pakistan, its pakistan. It disheartens my heart to see such opinions. I know the last couple of statements are touchy subject to many people, and I aint typecasting anyone here. But nevertheless its sad....and to come back to my original subject. Blue Cross - a society that is close to my heart for the service they render and as a regular contributor feel proud that they stand up and fight against this slaughtering of camels. However, there is a injunction according to Section 28 (If I remember right) that the constitution provides. According to this, slaughtering of animals on religious occasions is allowed. I guess, it wont be far off before we have all the animals tagged endangered species, except ofcourse for humans !

Note:
The way the camels are killed, I hear is in a gruesome manner and it takes close to around 2 hours for the camels to die.

Surprise - A reasonable house owner in Bangalore.

2007-12-04T22:28:00.000-08:00

I had to pay my first month rent to the owner. I had been really satisfied with the house, its location, its maintenance. I had been trying to catch hold of him for the last few days but couldnt. I was determined to be a reasonable man and pay of my rent within the 5th of every month. Afterall, everyone has their own needs and expectation and a money that comes in late can really skew your lifestyle and your commitments considerably. Who else can know it better than one who has not received his complete payslip(oh goddamnit not even 25 % of my promised payslip) for more than two months now, thanks to our payroll team's misplaced records and great functioning. Even a government office would have responded out of pity for the number of emails sent on this. No matter what levels of escalations are made, yet, words dont seem to transform into action. *sigh* Today is the last day of a "1 week time" from the Human Resources to sort out my issue and well, I dont have any hopes of it. You say I'm a pessimist, I think I understand inefficiency. All this story apart, I know its painful if you dont receive the due amount in the right time.

And boy oh boy, wasnt I pleasantly surprised when the owner took the money only for 25 days I stayed in the house for the last month. And he didnt lay any charges for the water nor electricity for the first month. I have never seen this happen in Bangalore in the numerous houses that I have shifted. Once I had rented a co-worker's place and he charged me even for the light bulb in the house. And everytime I vacate the place, I lose atleast a couple of thousands in various charges the house owners levy( and inspite of keeping the house clean and nice) and my rental agreement always says a 10% increase YoY in the rent. And this new house ( yep, its nicely built new house) owner has a clause of 5 % YoY and also acted a reasonable man when he charged only for 25 days. It isnt a big deal to pay the extra 5 days but a reasonable house onwer is hard to find in Bangalore.Forget reasonable house owners, reasonable men are hard to find here !

Managers - Damagers

2007-11-06T03:38:00.000-08:00

They are the species with the shortest possible attention span. And if you could gather their attention for more than 10 minutes with not one of them speaking a word, I bet you are a genius but I will wonder why you are amongst them in that case?

Put a bunch of them together,simplest equation will look the most complex thing ever found on this earth. However, an enormous exchange of words will ensue (called brainstorming), sometimes not found in the vocabulary of 80% of the population (no prize for guessing the remaining 20%) beating about every strategy and counterstrategies that can ever be employed, and finally a solution will be arrived at. How? Formulate a sentence with a word from every mouth so that everyone has their say. In the end if you decipher and decode that convulted sentence,
you will precisely find that very first statement of yours.

This is the same species that demand smart work while they get into a meeting and sit there with not even a wee bit interest in what is spoken about, happily sending personal emails from their laptops and nibbling around your ear with incessant talks. Its a pity to witness a dozen members of the species waste two hours of their time,
- almost two full business days while the rest of the community are asked to slog their way. We, techies, are wretched souls.

Twisted Fate

2007-09-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

Theres only one way to live - face it !

However, there are times when you dont want something, dont want to be reminded, dont want to see yourself or others, dont want to take the path down the memory lane, not because you are afraid it, but because it is wise to leave things as it is, without any questions, any complaints. Those are times when you dont want to see yourself in the mirror, for the reflection might show a tattered soul, reminding of things lost and defeats accepted with as much grace as possible. Fate has its own twisted logic. It is exactly when you want to be away, to feel at peace for a while, everything opens right in front of you.It springs up when you least expect it and on your face.And when you do face it,the pain it brings, the suddent surge of sadness that originates in those walls of your heart, gushing into your arteries making you gasp for your breath, that one moment when everything seizes, makes you wish you were dead instead. And when there is no more pain, no more sadness that your heart can ooze out into the veins, when your head is clear, you take it with a smile, you wish the best and get back to this moment, knowing that sooner or later, your heart will be conditioned for this too as it always has. Afterall, its life - face it.

Animosity

2007-09-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

Animosity

I think most of us would have heard about the outsourcing cries made in the west and the animosity displayed. However, in my career of IT experience spanning around 8 years now, I have never directly encountered any form of remarks or animosity being displayed @ work, though I have seen such remarks when I walk on the roads.
I believed even if people felt hostile, they limit their behaviours within professional ethics and thats the kind of people I have interacted with. For the first time, I found someone reacting otherwise and for what? a chair?

I had promised a client designer(Sri Lankan immigrant) last evening that I will look into her issue first thing in the morning. As soon as I came in, she called me in. I sat in her chair to fix the issue while she sat on the desk. After a while, she got a chair and a few minutes later, I gave some suggestions and got up to leave. I turned around and had this another client designer Chinese immigrant) standing right upto my face and exclaiming "Ah, so you took my chair". The lady tried to explain that she had borrowed it for herself for a little while, which went unheaded and the guy said in a hostile pitch, his face showing such a hatred, "Why not take my job too?". Well, I do not get into verbal wars @ work place, so, I looked back at him eye-to-eye and left the place.

Later when I think about it, it is interesting, two immigrants from neighbouring countries of mine, who have come here in search of the same thing that everyone aspire for, a better life with more luxury. And incidentally, this guy rents out apartment to contractors like me for two reasons. No one pays that money he quotes for that house. We do not demand like the rest of the tenants do. We need a place for a couple of months and we are ready to compromise, which he clearly takes advantage of. Why would you carry such a spite and show displeasure at something as simple as borrowing a chair? No questions whether I consider it to be immature, but all this hype about grabbing jobs etc etc in a period of globalization and smaller distances? It beats me. How would it be if there is a restriction that Coke cannot sell anywhere outside America or Americans cannot have Japanese cars? Will the companies be as global as they are or will the people be satisfied with inferior products? On one hand, people go and buy products from China because they are cheap and on the other, fight about sending the work there?

The truth is - "There is nothing of any importance in life-except how well u do your work.Nothing.Only that. Whatever else u r will come from that."

P.S
@ SB,
well, am back after a long time. Thanks for still reading me. I would like to touch base with you when I return, that is if you are interested.

Movie Monday !

2007-08-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

On a lazy Monday afternoon,I decided to watch this movie "Paruthi Veeran". Somehow this movie had been eluding me for quite some time now. So when I saw the movie at my friend's place, I picked it up. One of the reason I picked it up was for the fact that the Hero - Karthik studied in the same college and I had interacted long time back between a common group of friends. Times change and people change, so I thought let me see how he has faired as an actor. Ofcourse, he did a commendable job for a first movie. On the whole it was a well made movie but somehow a certain sense of characterisation was missing in the lead male role. Ofcourse, it kept the character very much alive and realistic but it was smudged with a certain sense of commercialism that did not quite judge well. I even wondered why would someone want to select such a role for a first movie. Another aspect of the movie that bothered me was the camera work and the colors used. I'm not sure if its because of the small screen version, but the "sun dried" color of the frames through out the movie kept the story realistic and yet was sometimes too over powering. All in all, a good attempt but left me with a heavy heart because of its story line and the climax.

So to loosen up a little bit, I played the movie that almost all of the tamilnadu like unanimously - Kaakha Kaakha. Incidentally, the hero of this movie - Surya is the brother of Karthik. Sketched to perfection, I believe it was the powerful characterisations of the lead roles that took this movie to be in my all time favourite list.

Zoom !!!

2007-08-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

This is what I wld call a "F_ _kin Zoom" !!!

http://www.docbert.org/MP/

A casual remark !

2007-08-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

I have everything that I would ever need - NOTHING !

Romancing the Moon

2007-07-30T20:25:00.001-07:00

Been a long time since I toyed around with my camera...
I was reading a book on my bed when I saw this really nice moon (didnt someone say it was Buddha Poornima yesterday? ) staring at me through the window. Decided to take a snap of it....Boy, I do love my zoom, dont I?

hmm...

2007-07-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

I have found the paradox, if you love so much until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
---- Mother Teresa on Love.

Interesting...so what do u think?

2007-07-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

Its very funny how things unfold in your life. They say history repeats itself. But I guess in my case it is more than once. 2003 saw me as lost soul trying to get a grip on life. The cycle repeated in 2005 and well, its again repeating in 2007, except that this time, I tend to believe I can make it through.

And very funnily, all the three times, things happen at around the same time of the year in a certain way. Come back after a brief stay away with loads of hope but being left with nothing more than an emptiness. Then it starts all over again. Serendipity - I always associated it with good things. But in my case, cant really say why it chooses to end with a lost feeling.

The only saving grace about all the events.....I dont have reason to feel guilty.....I dont find a stranger in my mirror staring back at me....I never gave up on anyone even though people have given up on me or situations forced them to!

Life goes on ...

2007-07-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

Its time !

2007-07-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Been a long while since I wanted to do my second dive....
Had been waiting for the folks who are in double mind for quite a long time to make up their mind. Finally when I decided to do it irrespective of their desires, they are ready to join me..and am on my way for second jump from 15000 ft in an hours time !

No videos this time though !!!

But its been an enjoyable weekend with loads of music and fun @ ottawa on behalf of Canada Day celebrations !!!

Life

2007-06-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

Why do we all

Leave the one who loves
and
love the one who leaves

?

Defeat!

2007-06-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

While victory depicts skill and knowledge, defeat defines your character.

Odd luck

2007-06-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

The world has shrunk by leaps and bounds....U r always connected to anyone you want at anytime from any place...You have numerous gadgets to make it happen. Yet, it is only when you want to reach your family at a very important time, to speak about important things, that these devices stop coming to your aid...human error possibly? :-) !!

Flying High !

2007-05-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

Finally, I got the time to post this. Even though I'm posting this after a week, I'm still reveling in the thrill and the feeling of falling from 15000 ft high. Infact two days back I experienced the entire feeling in my dream and for some strange reason, yesterday, I dreamt of exploring the space without an astronault outfit. Hehehe.

I will probably write in detail later...its already too late in the night...but
* Its a bliss to be a bird
* Its a feeling that cannot be describedone. It has to be experienced and I already bought my second jump that I will do the coming weekend.
* You feel like floating in the air. There aint any great physical turbulence. The first few seconds are the key...and immdiately after that u start enjoying the ride.
* I did feel scared as the videos would show until I actually experienced it when u will see me enjoying it.
* When the chute opens up, the journey is heavenly.
* When I joind hands with my photogrpaher and flew just like in the movies and discovery channel, I knew that I have stretched the limits of my mind and body to an extent I never believed I could.
* The earth is lot different from above. Reminded me how insignificant we are in the concept of the whole.

Now, if anyone asked me if I have ever done crazy on my Bday, I know what to say !

Sky Diving Preparation

The Jump - No music

The Fall - Music Version

Flying High

2007-05-14T19:58:00.001-07:00

Having visited most of the general tourist places in the Eastern Coast of Canada, I was quite wondering what would I do this time around. I decided to get the real feel of people, life and culture and live like a local. I also thought I would be able to get back to my sketches, hiking etc etc. Alas, work had kept me busy for a couple of weekend after the sun really warmed up( I need an AC now). Now that th weekends are to myself, we decided to do something that we hadnt done before. And we came across THIS. . I have seen the broadway plays in the movies and have been fascinated by the well dressed men and women (well, women especially in their beautiful gowns) and this was in my to-do list all the time. So, We decided to give it a try. Then, came the question of the dresscode. A black trouser, wrinkle free formal shirt, a black barduroy jacket and a black formal shoe - is all I wore. Ah, I know, - not a great dresscode but given the fact that we would be roaming around the streets of Toronto, it does not make a great sense to go in Tuxedo ;-) and I personally believe that would be funny....anyways, we were in for a treat as we got great seats and to my left was a beautiful looking lady in a classic black gown...(gosh I had to keep my eyes consciously AWAY from those legs ;-) ! and the fact that we were so close to smell each other's perfume was of any help! I bet she was wearing poison !

The real treat was the show. I have never seen a better presentation, the settings, the moving backrounds - well everything was perfect to the core. Thats exactly the reason theatre is my favourite medium. You get one bleadi chance to perform and you cant make any mistakes and perform they did, perfectly. The music was just magnificient - the theme has become one of my favourites. Though I cldnt get much of the lyrics - Gosh that was so damn tough to decipher :-) - overall it was one experience I wanted to have in my life and well, it was worth all of the 100 and odd $ we paid for it. I'm looking for one more show two weeks from now - a musical play and I dont expect to be disappointed.

On the other hand, the evenings have become busy again with the gym at the harbour club such a treat for workouts. The range of equipments is something that I never have experienced in any of the gyms I have worked out so far - so it just keeps me happy and amidst all those workout freaks, you are just in the mood for greater workouts....

Well, one more thing that is gonna come in line should be the FreeFall from 12000 ft above the earth. Check THIS . Now got to muster the courage and take a plunge.....and this time I hope so - Whats life for if not to live and experience.

Alienated

2007-05-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you think back and wonder how time has passed, how people have changed and you realise that things close to your heart have just become memories of the past. Even though you wish for things to not happen, it happens otherwise leaving you with some wonderful memories. For sometime, you are the center piece of someone's life and then suddenly u fade off....fade off just like yet another stranger of a distant past....and then you keep wondering what happened and suddenly u ask yourself if you even crossed their mind once when u have been remembering them all along...Life for sure is crazy...

It feels like an alien to log into this blog today....A place where my emotions and opinions were penned down and suddenly I feel I had forgotten to feel what it is like to write. Things change...life change....and u keep going. Giving up is never an option, is it? Thanks for all those who have come to this page even when I have ignored it.

Niagara in the lights

2007-04-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

End

2007-04-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

Finally the day is getting over....
It isnt easy when you carry pain in your heart, longing in your soul, a nervous racus in your brain and a handful of messups @ work....the day just seems to drag forever. Its very difficult to draw the line when career and life mix up!

Easier said than done

2007-04-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

Now that many people I know are in the age of getting married and especially girls, I have come across atleast a couple of girls who are so confused and lament that they want to get married to someone they know, a friend, than someone their parent choose. Perfectly reasonable. However, it should always be the guy who should make the move. Why cant it be that a girl just goes ahead and asks out the guy. Yes, there are guys who dont think it is cheap and there are guys who like outspoken girls. The guy should decide, the guy should understand them perfectly which I guess isnt a fool's task and should be ready to give up everything if need arises and sometimes the girl herself, if their parents choose not to naccept. (well, mine really dont care and thats different ;-) ) No one wants to hurt their parents. Playing safe is fine but to what extent can a guy have a clarity in mind when you do not even know if the girl really wants to get married to the guy because she loves the guy (in which she should have expressed it strongly) or just wants to get married thinking " a known devil is better than unknown angel". It doesnt seem anything more than an arranged marriage by the parents themselves when you do not know who the other person is actually. I understand it takes a lot in Indian society for a girl to get married to than for a guy. However guys have their own confusions too and they give up quite a few choices too. Most men often are not as strong as they appear to be. Hurt and pain are the same for everyone. It is very difficult to cross the line and then step back to the same. Needs a lot of maturity for sure.

2007-04-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

I know not what to say,
I know not how to react,
I know which path to take,
I know not what life will offer
I know nothing is worth a tear in your eyes, not even me !

Stressed

2007-03-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

It surprises everytime how your body demands attention from you. First symptons of stressed out body is the burning eyes, boils on the tongues. Guess I first have to settle scores with my body before I can even think about handling other important things.

On the other hand, I wonder who formed the word "Stressed" - the reverse spells "desserts" !

Is it all worth at the end?

2007-03-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

Loneliness is terrbile....but what is even more terrible is to be surrounded by people but not able to relate to anyone....

that little time ....

2007-03-24T17:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, all you need is time to think through , to explain your feelings the right way, without any misunderstanding, to make others understand what you see, without hurting them, and help them know the real you, not the you others perceive you to be.....
And time is the only thing am running short of ....and it isnt easy to make all of the above happen with a fast flowing sandclock stuck up in your A$$ !
On more than one instance, I have realised Beer doesnt help you think....It may sober you up...but it doesnt help you think clearly.....

PEI

2007-03-08T07:31:00.000-08:00

Prince Edward Islands or PEI as it is shortly called is one of the most scenic places on Earth or so I have read. I read abt it during my first visit in 2003. But staying around 1600 kms away from it, and not with much of drivers/ interested people around, I cldnt do it then. Then in 2005, I did not want to live it alone (blinded?, probably) and this time around, I really dont care. I would like to just do it. There is a long weekend coming in April and my gut feeling is that I wouldnt find much people to accompany me on this trip. I somehow dont get it when people do not want to travel to such exotic places. Majority of the collegues that I see is interested in man-made shopping malls and concrete jungles (well, I like to travel city too) and taking pictures of themselves there and nothing more. REminds me of this guy who trekked all the way to get a glimpse of "out-of-the-world" sunrise only to see the entire sunset thru his camera lens. Well, whats the point :-) !! Anyways, I think I shd probably plan it out and see if I can make it this time around...If I choose to drive, well, am sure its gonna be one hell of a tiring drive ! 18 hours is not a easy ride for heavens sake even for a driving maniac like me !

P.S:
Do read about the Island from the above link.

Happily Alone!

2007-03-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

Its not everyday, that you walk down in a snow storm and reach home all white and covered with flakes of snow only to make yourself a nice set of masala pappad, a hot cup of chai, and sit down with the recent book about the paintings of Leonardo (the mysterious man of a past gone era) and the man himself - all to a perfect solitude.
There are moments in life, you enjoy the solitude. An occasional thought of sharing with special ones of your heart passes through - then the silence teaches you the reality of life enuff to enjoy it with all your heart.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, I heard the constant rattling of the rain drops outside the window. And the fact that I stay in a room whose inhabitants earlier were kids, the whole of the roof is illuminated with the flourescent stars that glow in the night.
It was like lying outside on the lawn looking at the sky on a summer evening and also sitting on the window sill and listening the clattering of the rain - both at the same time.Last evening was a perfect one and the fact that am not used to the snowly life, it never dawned on me that I would wake up to a slushy irritating road after all the rain in the night. It was damned to walk on the roads this morning. But to make up for a slushy roads, I saw something wonderful that I had not seen so far. Coming down from my first floor bedroom, I saw the withered trees and their branches covered with a layer of ice all throughout. It was almost like a painting that was hung on the wall in front of me.

The last pic above is a nice macro shot that I tried with my Canon!

Whitey White !

2007-03-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

This is my third visit to Canada. I still remember the day when I first got my chance to visit this country and people scared the hell out of me with 40 cms snow and chill and cold and what not. But I was always hoping for it because I love chilly places. well, understandable after living 25 years in the scorching sun of chennai ! The day I came, to my utter dismay,it was 38 degree Centigrade..and I lived through one more season of summer with no sight of snow that is always associated to Canada.

When I saw the news about a predicted 10 cms of snow last night, I was actually overjoyed much to the gnarls of my roommates :-) !! and I was slightly depressed when the weather was so good until this afternoon when I actually walked in just a jeans and sweater to the bank. And now when I want to go to the mall to send a snail mail back home, what do I see, layers and layers of whiteness covering everywhere. Its like everything is covered by a white blanket. Theres hardly any visibility and its already around 3-4 cms of snow. Hola, am I going to enjoy my walk back home or what !

Well, the snail mail have to still wait ! No cab is gonna come and pick me up in this snow !

2007-02-22T08:53:00.000-08:00

I returned back early last night to my hotel room. By 7:00, I had soaked myself in a hot tub of water with lemon grass oil sprinkled in and was deep in a slumber by half past seven. I seriously wonder in what right frame of mind was I in, when even in the midst of a deep sleep (or was it a shallow?), I had called up Boston Pizza and ordered for a pizza and Garden green salad with a pop. The guy had apparently knocked on my door 30 mins later which fell into the deaf ears of your highness. He had to actually ring my intercom a coupla of times before he could deliver the pizza. Now that the sleep was disturbed, I sluggishly finished the pizza and called up my friends and family back home, then decided to buy in a movie. And trust me, I bought in a movie at the Hotel that absolutely did not justify the $12.99 I paid for it - Casino Royale. This classifies to be one of the most dumbest James Bond movie I have ever watched. This was the only James Bond movie I hadnt watched and that completed the equation, but I guess I would wanted it to be an exception. It just isnt a Bond movie at all.

Well its been snowing around today and as is my wont, I took a stroll outside in the snow !

Freedom !!!

2007-02-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

You take a flight, land in a new place, new country, go over to the counter, rent a cab, take a map, drive down to your destination. Well, easier said than done ! But trust me, theres nothing like it when you are eligible and licensed to do all of it. That surely is freedom ! And when you are coming back to the same place again, well, its as good as coming home !! :-)

Have reported back to work in BellVille, to a warm welcome by everyone around - the place hasnt changed much except for the fact that its snowy all around, with spine chilling and in my case, teeth chilling cold. I took a stroll to a few places that I had promised myself to be back, albeit not alone, but unfortunately all alone ! Cldnt help but wonder things could have been different, should have been different.

Time to hunt for a place to stay and if I'm lucky, I must be getting a Bachelor's acco soon with no worries of pesting roommates ;-) ! Wonder when did I start such an aversion to roommates?

Gone with the Wind !

2007-02-14T04:48:00.000-08:00

You know any close relationship has waned, the feelings have hit the bottom, that its time for you to treasure the memories and move ahead(with a faint hope of rediscovering the same at a later point of time, if destiny wills) - when people stop addressing you by name, the familiar nicks no longer are used, mails/letters start with a Hey, Hi, things that were interestingly shared are sent as FYI on a group alias and sometimes after reminders. Well, lifes like that - a string of memories !

On a different note, sometimes people humble me with their love. Like my granny who at her age of 88, made the food i liked even if it was 11:00 in the night or 4:30 in the morning to drive to bangalore - the reason, I might miss my favourite food for quite some time to come and she - not sure of how long she can hold onto her dear life. Well, grandma, thanks for all that you are. I'm what I'm mostly because of you and I absolutely adore you for your strength and character!

On the way ...

2007-02-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

Very often, I have ppl tell me that I must be crazy to drive so often to Chennai. Well, I AM crazy about driving, but more than that, I sometimes get very nice moments during the travel that I can treasure, like these!

Started a little late on Friday evening and the almost full moon just took my breath away. It was my guiding moon bathing me with moonlight all through the way. I stopped over at a nice point and watched the moon rise up and above until it was brilliant white. Boy, dont I love my Canon with a 12X Optical zoom. Wonder what add-on lenses can do to this piece !

I usually start very early in the morning from chennai on Mondays, and not so surprisingly, reach office much earlier than if I stay in Bangalore ;-). And these days, the vast fields covered with white layers of morning mist and a rising sun behind, blinding your eyes through the rear view, is an awesome company to drive. Well along with a coffee, its just about perfect.
We need Baristas and CCDs on NH 7. Couldnt resist stopping over, enjoying it and completing my packed breakfast @ sunrise. Pleasant start to the week !

P.S:
I shd be putting these pics on moi travel blog @ http://bim-bam.blogspot.com. I guess I have become lazy having two blogs ;-) ! However, hope to have lotsa updates coming in the travel blog in a months time when I wld be travelling a lot lot more !

Ha !

2007-01-30T22:46:00.000-08:00

A whirlwind of a weekend and before I can even write about it, another half of a week is already gone *sigh*....Now that there arent many weekends here at my disposal, and loads of things to be taken care of, all I could ask for is time. Wish a day had 48 hours instead *a vey big sigh* !

I wasnt very keen when my friends wanted to plan for something as I had lotsa pending things, especially a coupla bills to be taken care of, however, when they barged into my house early morning(read it as 5:30 Am) on Friday and packing my things, I couldnt say a No (my problem always). Neither did I imagine, I would have to drive the vehicle for the next 45 hours with just a break for the night @ a friend's coffee estate only to wake upto a beautiful sunrise.

I found myself taking people around as I had already been to the tourist places in Coorg. Every place, I visited, I was reminded of the first trip of mine to this place. Wish those times had stayed and as they say, Every good thing has to come to an end and so it came. Be it the Hilltown hotel / Nisargadhama / Thala cauvery / Buddhist monastery, I found myself reminiscing the past memories more than enjoying the present. Except that this time around , I was driving a new Hyundai getz through the curvy hill roads. We were driving through remote villages to reach the coffee estate in the late night when we switched off the head lights only to feel a bursting peak of adrenalin thru us.

A drive for few more seconds would have resulted in an accident or if there wasnt one, we wld have died of fear. All scary thoughts ran thru all our heads and I suddenly decided to stop the vehicle in the dark on the mountain towards the estate. We switched off even the cell phones to bask in the moon lit estate wilderness.

After 45 hours of travelling, I found myself in home only for a day of pub hopping and treating ourselves to an awesome spread of food.

BTW, visited The Legends last tuesday to catch up with some live music from a band called Altered Spaces for which a cousin of my friend plays guitar for. Hope to upload the video here. Check out in a couple of days.

I wonder, is it because my days here are numbered for a long time to come, that I'm not able to keep up with my schedule. My lifestyle suddenly seems like something straight out of a novel with pubs, food, music and travel one overlapping the other. Well, whateva, I surely am enjoying it !

Adorning beauties !

2007-01-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

What do I sport these days especially when I drive?

What adorns my desk these days?

Internet as a battleground ?

2007-01-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

It might be too early in my mind to form an opinion and I havent thought to myself yet, analysing what my stand is with regards to such developments, but the following articles did realyl make me sit back and want to spend time thinking how it would be in the future. Will internet be a battle ground?

Crazy Wikileaks

Do u use Google Earth?

And you thought I'm mad @ customer support for no reasons?

The Three of Us

2007-01-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you read a book and identify the emotional journey of the characters with yourself. At times during such a read, you stop and think over "Gosh, its so like my thoughts, the emotions that I went through" and you realise theres so much in common with the fiction and real life. Oh well, it is bound to be as fiction, as I believe is just an extension of the real life. I picked up,"The three of us" by Abha Daweswar for the language based on my earlier read of her - "That Summer in Paris". But except that this time, I was in for a different treat. I was left wondering if it was indeed a lady who wrote this book (no offense meant) for the treatment of very intricate emotions of a man trying to identify his own sexuality. It was like the author had magically stepped into the thought process of a man. The novel just breezes through the lifestyle of a young Manhattan investment banker, laden with some hilarious moments and dialogues and sometimes, profound words. I'm looking forward to read "Babyji" which again is an emotional journey of a girl that had won her a literature award.

Whine and Dine !

2007-01-08T16:13:00.000-08:00

A wannabe-restaurateur myself - towards which I have already made my clear cut plans, and as a person who likes to wine and dine at all places and all foods (vegetarian) possible in the globe, well, all i can say about this article is, Been-There-Faced-That !

Winding up for the year @ Work !

2006-12-20T03:07:00.000-08:00

Nothing feels great than to have a very positive value adding result to the last design meeting of the year. There has to be a logical explanation to everything in software, you just cant wipe your hands off the problems and what else would be a better note to end the year than cracking a serious problem that the team has been sitting over for long time now, that you know for sure is gonna be appreciated. Its time for celebrations every where and the client goes on a vacation starting tomorrow, so its decided to be a party time tomorrow afternoon for the team which has been longing to go out now. And I couldnt be in a better mood than this after what I heard during the lunch.(see my previous post).

BTW, I picked up twobooks from the library this morning - "The three of Us" by Abha Daweswar and "Through Krishna's Eyes" by Sunny Singh. I read "That Summer in Paris" by former author and I liked the language, that I went and picked it up. Hope its interesting too.

Fun @ Las Vegas

2006-12-20T00:23:00.000-08:00

Ah, the little bunny is going on a trip with his mom. Infact all of my family except me is travelling this christmas to Las Vegas, Disneyland and Grand Canyon. Wish I was there too.....

On a contemplative note, Why do people talk behind your back and try to justify themselves putting you in the dark? And particularly to a person who is not worth anything between the two of you? Whats the point in opening and staring at the skeletons in the closet?

Want !

2006-12-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

No matter whatever your relationship is with your parents - love bound or duty bound or both, you will surely miss them when they are away.

Second Chance.

2006-12-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

Today, I wish Life had one second chance except that this time, I know what to change.

To all who have read and commented so far, thanks a lot. You can always reach me at
nchantedmind(at)yahoo(dot)com.

What do you do?

2006-12-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you send a SMS to the wrong person. Sometimes, it happens that someone is in your thoughts moments before you are writing the SMS, say for example, you are pre occcupied in your own thoughts in a meeting and suddenly remember that you have to send a SMS and then you send it to the person not intended for? I feel very embarrassed and it has happend quite a few times with me....and it keeps repeating and I have no clue how to prevent it.....

What do you do when someone who means a lot and who's close to you in being ill spoken of in front of you, and particularly by people who's close to them? Do you go and tell your friend? or you dont?

What do you do when your friend does not respond properly, ignores you and tries to avoid you? Do you try all things to seek the reason? or you dont?

A Symbol from my travel.

2006-12-05T22:12:00.000-08:00

Am an enthusiast of symbology (No, nothing to do with The Da Vinci Code, this dates back early from my childhood). The symbols of various culture, religion have always captured my interest. Its my personal belief that digging deep into all religions will associate atleast a couple of common symbols like for example, the Star of David. Various manifestations of this symbol can be found in different religions. Who knows, may be thats the path to knowing more about human origin. And every symbol is always symmetrical on a certain axis for sure and symbols I guess are the highest form of understanding of the creation and functioning of the universe. Religions closely related to the Vedic culture like Hinduism, Buddhism - well, I dont have to say anything about their knowledge and abundance of symbols. Every time, I visit a Hindu temple or buddhist monastery, I'm impressed with their colours and architecture. Most of the time, I do not understand anything about it. But I like them. So is the attached snap. It was taken at Buddhist Monastery, Manali town. This symbol was painted on the part of the main door of the Monastery. Look at the symmetry of the figure and I feel that there must be some meaning to this. Can anyone decipher it for me? ;-)

End of a sojourn !

2006-12-04T04:33:00.000-08:00

Back from the vacation and yes am in more than a mood to work. Feels so good to be so focussed, thanks to the feel-good vacation. It was a nice trip laden with moments of wonder, moments of joy, moments of enthusiasm, moments of cheer, moments of silence, moments of astonishment, moments of peace and moments of loneliness. Took a lot of notes that I can edit a good travelogue and may be try to weave stories, but am short of time for it right now. In a jist, these are some of the things ....

Meeting up with a good friend.
A punjabi get together at my yesteryear idol - KapilDev's restaurant.
A peaceful sunset high up the hills.
A calm walk in the gardens of chandigarh followed by an evening tea.
Mouth watering punjabi special sweets and loads of punjabi food. The best Aloo-pyas Parantha..., one of the best tuty-fruity sundaes I have ever had....
Cinema, Shopping, shopping and more shopping...
A ghostly encounter in the wee hours of a cold morning
Acquintance to the majestic mountains - I'm sure to visit them again soon.
Feeling of spiritual belonging to the world.
The touch of the snow high above the hills, sharing stories with a villager who trekked along with his one feet (actually faster than me).
A trek to catch a glimpse of naturally formed temple and one more crossing a mountain just for the heck of it.
Tasting the local mountain cuisine and feel the life of a mountain folk.
A taste of pilgrimage @ manikaran - servicing for a bowl of food (trust me the food tastes heavenly after the service)
Driving along the river high on the mountain tracks...
Moments of artistic liking at Roerich Society, long talk with a fellow traveller from France, looking at his notes of a month travel in India.
Long tiring journey to Amritsar to be greeted by hisorical places, Jalianwala bagh, Golden Temple and Wagah border (border retreat ceremony)
Driving a local auto rick through the vast lands of punjab's crop fields.
Moments of sadness in the city of Delhi - the striking poverty and dirt.

Well, these are just the few of many things that happened through the 9 day sojourn. A everyday list of things would take a whole lot of writing to do , but thats for later...

Hurray !

2006-11-23T05:47:00.000-08:00

It looks very nice, sexy yet comfortable for a daily outfit. I'm just talking about a pair of jeans and a small t-shirt on a girl. When its killer abs that the girl has, well, I just cant help myself give a second look. And that exactly is the idea of it, giving a sneak peek. Whats the whole point in pulling off the shirt every 2 minutes making sure it covers everything. Cmon, if its so uncomfortable, why wear it in the first place. It is not designed to cover you upto your knees. Thats such a turn off !

Anyways, girls apart, its time for a travel again - but this time to the North of India, meeting up with a friend for a couple of days and then going on my way to the majestic Himalayas. Its a nine day vacation backpacking all alone and I hope to have interesting experiences to share when I come back. I know it wouldnt give me enough of time to explore the Himalayas, but am looking at making myself familiar with the Majestic mountains for my trips to follow in the next couple of years, hopefully. Mes planning to have a skiing lesson for a couple of days and explore the place around Manali and nothing more. No emails , no work and its just about fun time !

Pride of India

2006-11-20T06:02:00.000-08:00

The pride of India or so they are called. It is our national animal and this is what we do to them
http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/19/tigers
:-(
Its my fav animal. Its such a feast to watch the Big brother of a Cat in all its glory. Its stare is so powerful that it can send shivers down your spine and the roar - so majestic and authoritative.
I still remember vividly the one and only time when we saw a tiger in the wild crossing the road between two jeeps, the headlight on one directly focussed on it. We were so awed and that one instant, the adrenalin that rushed through us giving us that once-in-a-lifetime experience can never be explained. My friend who was holding my arms dug deep into my hand unable to supress the tension and excitement that I felt in my hand for a couple of days. But that moment, that we shared was one of the most memorable ever.

:-( Dull Friday

2006-11-16T22:20:00.000-08:00

I'm late, I'm sad, am upset and am feeling amiss.....I dont want to work today and neither am I able to focus...No, not that its a Friday and am going home after a long time, (the days of going home every weekend to meet the special someone are all over) .....Its just that I'm not feeling good about my new friend..... This morning I was waiting for my cereal porridge to cool down and watching TV. I was already late..... Thats when I saw this little friend come in and searching for the biscuit in the usual place. I was amused and went to the kitchen with a biscuit to keep it on the window sill. And he was running arnd the kitchen lofts searching for something. I have all the cardboard covers of microwave, fridge on the lofts.....I thght he probably was trying to find a hide out for himself and I decided to see if he can take the biscuits from my hand today. We have gotten close , but not close enough....And I waited waited and waited and he never turned up.....I left the biscuit in the usual place and until I left, it was not touched....Wonder where the little fellow is....

A new Friendship !

2006-11-13T00:10:00.000-08:00

I have been having his/her company for a long time now. I was indeed discussing about it with my friends who had dropped in at home yesterday. For my sake, lets call him a "He".
The first time I saw him was when he was nibbling at a left over biscuit in my kitchen. He belongs to the family of squirrels but I guess hes quite intelligent and found his way to my kitchen to get some easy food. And since then he has been a regular visitor. Since the day I met him, I have been leaving a biscuit for him everyday. However, the little bugger is too cautious when it comes to my presence. However friendly I try to be, he does not want intruders. Oh well, I wanted to tell him, he is the one who actually intruded my kitchen....However, everything is forgivable in a Friendship. Occasionally, he would come and take a peek at my bedroom, when I wld be working on my laptop or reading a book stretched on my bed. Last afternoon, in fact he had a heavy food I guess - my friend had made potato fry and he was nibbling at it more than once as we saw.

I woke up late this morning and went in to brew a cup of coffee. I was just sipping some coffee standing near the window when this new friend actually dropped in and went searching for something to eat. Guess he had become hungry early in the morning. I stood still not wanting to disturb him. I did not want to disappoint him. So, I moved to pick a couple of biscuit and he ran away and peeked from his entrance to my kitchen. I took out a biscuit and placed in the usual place and moved away a little. He gave a couple of nods and then came in and had it oblivious of me standing there. I did not want to miss the chance of making friendship and stood there until he left....It actually takes weeks and sometimes months to gain the trust and confidence of these lovely friends....I dont think humans are any different too !

Nice Read

2006-11-07T05:49:00.000-08:00

These lines caught my attention today !

Perhaps, love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself. Not whom I want you to be, but to who you are.

Only I know how much I can relate to this one above !

Conquering Soma Male

2006-11-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

He came, and then,
He Conquered !

A two day sojourn is all it takes to rejunevate your body and soul !

Have you really loved a woman?

2006-11-03T02:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, in life, you cant say the things you want, to the people you want, at the time you want. Mysterious are the ways of time ! I wish you had understood !

This is my India !

2006-11-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

Taken With N70 mobile on Hosur Road, Bangalore on the way to MG Road dated Nov 1 2006.

Pained !

2006-10-30T16:36:00.000-08:00

Pain was not when you said
"Sorry, I messed up"
It was not when you said
"I cant love you anymore"
It surely was not when you said
"I'm happy with someone else"
But it tore me apart when you said
"I never thought you loved me"

Powershot S3IS

2006-10-30T00:18:00.000-08:00

Purchased a Canon Powershot S3IS after heavy research and temptations to move into the Digital SLR stuff. It belongs to a cross category of D DSLRs and digital cameras. A sample picture taken by my friend below. Am impressed with the camera and the clarity and options of the camera. Lots to learn and so expect more trials on this camera soon...And ofcourse am looking forward for my skiing trip (hopefully) late this month and Pune trip next week. Time to update me picture blog I guess !

This picture is so damn cool. Refreshed and ready for a long journey ahead ! I always believe its the eyes that are artistic - its what they see, its nothing to do with the camera, nor the materials - they are just tools to give it a life and this picture is worth a thousand words !

After a long time

2006-10-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

I love to drive and given any day, any time, I can get behind the wheels. Its so good to have someone else get behind the wheels for a change. Its always been that I drive everywhere, mostly ppl do not know to drive the car or are afraid or that I do not have the confidence. But this time around, I was comfortable in giving the wheels to someone else and relax completely not worrying abt if it will be safe. Gosh, what a sigh of relief finally.

Happened to attend a session on Wildlife Photography. Wealth of information, a good three hours of thoughts on something thats so close to my heart- nature and some amazing stories of horror and experience - it was time well spent. The session brought out a discussion on the politics and economics in preserving a species and forest. It was observed how difficult it is to convince the policy makers and implementors to allocate fund towards wildlife, particularly when you have to justify allocation of funds in third world countries like India where there are billions of people not getting enough of food to live. I wonder how short sighted and selfish we humans are always. As a species, I think we have done well enough to emerge as the most dominant, however in the process, we have messed it all up. An ecological balance is absolutely mandatory for the survival of our species. But we wont see it, we will stay blind to the perils of perishing ecology and species and try to channelise all the funds to the most arrogant and rampant of all the species ever created.

If tomorrow never comes...

2006-10-18T01:48:00.000-07:00

If tomorrow never comes ...

Memoirs

2006-10-09T04:45:00.000-07:00

It was one of those old Tshirts that you dont get away with. But it had too many memories attached to it and infact my friend used to ask me "Dont you have anything else to wear?" How would she know its for those memories with her I used to wear them. Feels like the person is right next to you all the time.
Today, I was in no mood to get to work. Thanks to the drinks after a long long time. A close look at my shirts told me that I gotto press my shirts and there I was already trying to beat the "Monday Morning Blues" and particularly after an one day weekend. So, pulling out a Tshirt, I found this one in my hand. With a smile, I wore them and I was slightly intrigued when a collegue of mine noted it especially.

C - "Have you ever worn this before to office?"
Me - "No, Its a personal favourite of mine, the ones you dont throw it off generally. I like the way it hugs me, fits me and reminds me."
C - "hmm...true...know what, its kinda looking very good on ya. Someone got it for you?"
Me - "Thanks. Nope. But I have pleasant memories attached to it."
C - "Its like one of those shirts which kinda makes a statement....hmm ..like a personality statement. Accentuates and gives a real good feel to you."
Me - "Thanks".

Pretty amusing how a small thing can actually render a warm smile on your face !

Currently listening to "Sexy Back" Justin Timberlake.

Celebrations!

2006-10-05T06:32:00.000-07:00

Three good news in a row on a day - now that surely calls for opening moi favourite bottle of Wine tonight !!!

With celebrations in mind, here is an old entry from the personal diary of mine !

Sanguinity

He walked silently around the idol and sat in a corner leaning against a pillar in the temple. He does not believe in visiting temples particularly at the time of despair. He did not believe in asking alms from the god. He was always grateful for what was given to him. Yet, this afternoon, he found himself sitting in a corner in the temple. He just wanted some peace and he always found it there. He was in deep thoughts trying to find himself.
"You seem to be terribly bothered, son", he opened his eyes and looked at the side of the voice.

He saw an elderly man, his face serene and calm, with sharp clear eyes. He did not want to be disturbed and was provoked to shout at the man that it was none of his business but instead he said politely,

"Why? Would you give me a solution?"

The man smiled at him.

"No one can give you solutions; you have to find your own."

"Then why bother about intruding into other's problem"

"Probably you would realize that, by talking to others, you are not alone and your problem is not very uncommon."

"I know that there are people with tougher problems than mine. Please don't start off with it"

"I never mentioned that way, did I? All I said was you are probably not the only one with that problem."

"If, the solution is within me, as you said, why not just leave me alone to find it."

"Our mind in its emotional state is pretty awful machine. It will search for a solution but yet would not recognize the solution."

"Hmmmm"

"Our mind is influenced by perceived notions by the happenings that have lead to the suffering and with that influence, the solutions you find and act would many a times aggravate the situation."

"I think so. I have been trying to solve one misunderstanding and my actions have been leading to more and more misunderstanding." he said.

"Are you bothered over a relationship?" the man asked.

He was surprised. He raised his eyebrows and replied "How do you know?"

"There isn't much that a young man like you would worry so much about? It is only a relationship with a loved one that would put you into confused state with no clear solutions. For example, people like you would be able to face any difficulties and come out successfully yet, can breakdown over a relationship completely."

He sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't understand what love is?"

"It is an experience. Do not try to understand this. "

"Why does it hurt so much when the people you love want to move away? I understand the choice. I understand that I need to give people their space and I understand everyone lives by their choice and you need to respect them. But why this feeling of disappointment that makes you think you can undo everything."

"Because you are becoming a prisoner to your own expectation. You want the other person to love you the way you want to be loved. And not focusing on how you have shown your love to them. "

"Doesn't love necessitate expectations? Isn't approval and acceptance a need of all humans?"

"Love doesn't necessitate expectations. But we do."

"You are speaking of utopian love."

"I'm speaking about understanding love. Love does not place any expectations and is for giving and forgiving".

"That's what I'm trying to do. I understand her and her choices. I want to respect that and I want to see her happy but I still feel a void, the very thought of her not being my side bothers me, it even kills me."

"It is an illusion, my boy. An illusion that has been created by our own mind that is how one's love has to be expressed."

"What is love if both of us go our own way and live our own life?"

"Not necessary. It is how you want it to be. It can also be expressed in the choice you have to make. When one person feels the need to have their own space, what else can be a better way to show your love than letting them go?"

"Doesn't my wants and needs count at all?"

"It does as long as you both see the same things. But when you start thrusting your wants alone, you will strangle the very person you care for. Did you something of that sort?"

"Yes I did. I understood her, but probably could not stand the fact that I should be at a distance. I tried knowing everything about her and be next to her. In short, I was intruding into her space. Trying to do things that I know I should have done earlier but did not do. I was trying to do everything that I missed and wanted to do at a very short time that I know I'll be with her. I wanted to live a lifetime with her in a short period."

"And misunderstandings are bound to happen that way".

"I guess so, one lead to another and there are series of misunderstandings. And I feel sorry and repenting but I do not know how to solve this".

"Do you love her still?"

"Yes. I do."

"Then, let her be herself. Give time. Nothing beats destiny in the race of life and time. There is a whole lot of life ahead of you. Do not fight against destiny and neither cling onto anything too tight? Nature gives you a lot in life and expects you to give it back when it wants. If you do not, it forces you to give it back. And you cannot fight and win against it."

"I seem to suffer for whatever I did, or rather not do. If only I had expressed myself clearer and earlier, if only I had taken the right path, if only she had chosen to wait or at least chosen to talk, probably I wouldn't have lost her."

"If only you can redo, there could have been lot of things in life that you can change. But life is a one way. You cannot change whatever has happened. They happened because they were meant to happen. It happened to help you realize something. Did you ever introspect yourself to see why it had to happen?"
"I did and that is the reason I cry. There were so many things at my hands that I could have handled properly. Yet, I took things for granted. I took her for granted."
"And you realized now that you should never take anything or anyone for granted."
"Yes, but I didn't expect to learn it at the cost of someone I deeply love."
"Allow me to say this. But life teaches the most important lessons of your life at extreme situations. You should understand and learn from your suffering and not repeat it rather than brood over it. That way you would make sure your path ahead is better. But if you brood over something, then, you would only have tougher path ahead. The choice is yours."

"Have you ever thought? why is it that you are still in love when certain mistakes have been done by the other person too?"

"Yes. The more and more I introspect, the more and more I understand myself, understand us, and above all, understand her. And I feel all the more push to tell her that I understand everything better and it has in no way hindered my love. And neither do the mistakes committed nor the misunderstandings were meant to harm/hurt her as they seem to be."

"And you expect to come back to you, is it not?"
He sighed. " I dont know. I dont believe I'm in a position to expect or make choices anymore "

The man continued.

"Life is a journey and you find love in the way. But remember, it still is a journey. Want it or not, you have to complete the journey. There are at times, when you have to go alone even after finding your love. That is destiny's ways. But that should not really depreciate your love. If you truly love a person, you will understand their choices and it would return one day. Love thrives on good memories and diminishes on bad memories. Every happy moment is relived and the joy of love is experienced again. It should be the strength to move further in life and not to pull you back. It grows stronger as you grow older, but maybe not necessarily in the form that you might want it to happen. That's only your expectations and wants. You might have numerous expectations and wants that might not be fulfilled but are you worried so much about them? No, then why now? Remember, life is too short to be spent worrying. And your worries will affect the people you love and care about too, not letting them move ahead too? Is that you want? Love doesn't make you hurt or feel hurt. Love makes you feel happy for letting the other person go in search of their choices, how much ever it may make you feel bad. But you will feel happy in the end. Love likes to wait and observe life from a distance. But comes to support when needed. Love comes with a plenty of time. It never asks question nor expects an explanation. It just shares the happenings and be a support. True that your expectations and dreams today have been destroyed, but if you fail to acknowledge the blessings, the creation has bestowed upon you, you will regret it later. Enjoy the sun, enjoy the clouds, enjoy the morning melody of a cuckoo, enjoy the fresh breeze in your terrace, and there would be one time when you know you can share these moments again with the person you love and that day you will also be happy listening to what they have seen and done. And till then, enjoy your time and wait. Don't be in haste. Take life slow and think and act. Friends do not need explanations. When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, and you don't look for mistakes. Instead you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and overlook the excuses. Determine yourself how you want your love to manifest."

"Your words seem wise. But I do not know how difficult it is to implement.

The man continued. "At times, you do not know why certain things have to happen, it might even seem that there were no mistakes and you were good and bad things happen to you, but allow me to quote Rainer Maria Rilke at those times...have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answers some distant day."

He was listening in silence. He felt good, a lot better and a smile emerged from his lips as acknowledgement.
"Thank you. I feel light and clearer in my mind."
"Though it is easier said than done, try to do it and you will be happy. It is a lesson I have learnt from my life."
He kneeled down to get the man's blessings.
"Young man. My blessings are always with you."

Mask !

2006-09-29T06:55:00.000-07:00

It was one of the most tiring days oflate. There are simply few items that you cannot delegate and even if you want to delegate and have the confidence in your guys, the client doesnt want to. These are critical and no one wants to take the risk. Whoever said, "Life is the greatest RISK", apparently is not a Software guy I'm sure. By the time I drove down on that stupid traffic ridden road, (can you believe you are held in traffic at 22:45 hours) and reached home, I needed a really warm bath and something to relax...The best way - catch up with a fav movie of mine ....I filled a big bowl of Salad, ( plain the Indian way - no fancy dressings), a tall glass of chilled Vegetable juice and perched onto the Bean Bag watching "The Mask" - a movie I can watch over and over, an all time fav of mine. *sigh* If there is one role I wld love to perform, it would be that.....only thing that was missing was the feel of someone seeking the comfort of your shoulder ! Ah ! How I wish I had the mask to myself !

Current Music : Avril Lavigne - Complicated

Rhythm

2006-09-27T01:27:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had some lines reminding you some place, some one when u r listening to a song?

I was listening to Rhythm while driving this morning (and since then I have been humming this song like crazy....) and the following lines reminded me of my trip with a friend of mine when I happened to get drenched myself in the flowing waters of a dam amidst a nice rainfall and thats exactly where I had spotted double rainbow. It was a day to remember !!!

October Mathathil, anthi Mazhai vanathil, vaanavilai rasithuirunthen
antha nerathil yaarumillai, Thoorathil ival mattum, vaanavilai rasika vanthal

The rhythm of life is mysterious, intriguing, interesting and captivating as well.

Music for the ears !

2006-09-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

I like to work in silence when I'm completely concentrating, which most of the time is not feasible bcos working as a consultant is to be disturbed. However, "Busy Hours" notification does help, though I very rarely use them lest they lose their significance.

Otherwise, I would like to have soothing music being played on while I work. And if there is something that I lacked, it was nice ear phones thats soft on your ears and a whole load of nice music. I just got myself equipped with loads and loads of Kenny G and Enigma and a nice integrated Ear phones/ Mic from HP. Boy, work is nice and engaging after a painful / irritating start to the day to see someone screwing up your bike engine completely when you were away for a day. Wish people knew not to take advantage of others and understood niceness is not weakness.

Dusted from the Drive...

2006-09-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

The Confrontation

He parked his car in the parking lot facing the beach. The ride had been unusually silent. ‘She is not her usual self’, he thought. ‘I must talk it out today’, she decided. He did not say a word. They got down and walked towards the water. They had always liked their evenings together at the beach. They walked close. He put his hands around her. She snuggled up to him. They went and sat down, the salty moisture laden breeze settling down on their lips. She leaned on him.

"What’s bothering you?" he asked.
"I'm sorry", she said.
He remained silent.
"Won’t you ask what for?"
"Does that make any difference?"
"Yes it does. I acknowledge the fact that I hurt you and I'm sorry for it. I'm sorry for what happened in the party that night. I shouldn’t have hurt you like that."
"Let’s forget it."
"Aren’t you trying to avoid confronting your own emotions?" she searched for an answer in his eyes. Instead she found an amusement completely belying her expectations from what she sought to seek in his eyes.
"Are you ready to handle such a thing?" he asked her back. Of all the things, this is not what she had expected to hear. She should have expected this, unassuming and mysterious as always, she told herself.
"Why not? Isn’t it what people do?" she looked up at him hoping a positive answer.
"Do you really understand? That by confronting the feelings when you are unsure of it yourself means you will hurt yourself and by that, hurt me! Do you really want to do this?” he thought and looked back intently, letting his eyes do the speaking.
He knew she was unrelenting
"May be" he said and looked into the direction of the waves.

She leaned on his shoulder, her head seeking the comfort of his shoulders. He put his arms around her and pushed the hair falling in front of her face. Her face glowed in that moonlight while the streaks of her soft hair danced to the tunes of the wind. ‘You are angelic’ he thought.
"Why do you give me such a feeling? I wish I don’t have to go through the kind of feelings I go through." She pulled herself away and turned to face him.
There he was looking at her as ignorant as a kid with no traces of any disturbance and still drowned in her eyes.
He chuckled and asked "What feelings?"
"I want to understand what I’m to you. I don’t like the twin emotions of love and hate towards you".
"Hmmm"
"I want to spend all my time with you, talk all things, every minute, I think of you and love you. The weekend you do not come home, I feel lonely. I want to come over to you at those times. I just need your hug, the comfort of your shoulders. I feel you know lot more about me than I even tell you and I want to know everything about you. But I have this nagging feeling at times that I do not know you, that I mean nothing to you, that you care a damn for me, that you have zilch feelings of what I have for you, that you ignore me, that you deliberately are staying away from me and when I have this feeling, I hate you for what you do to me. Why do you do this to me?" she looked questioningly into his eyes.
He looked thoughtful. His smile vanished.
"Isn’t that the reason you kissed the other guy in the party that night?" There was pain in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to make you jealous...."
"..hoping I would get angry and accept that you mean a lot more to me" he cut her.
She remained silent.
He caressed and set the hair flowing across her face.
"Do you want an honest answer?"
"Of course I do"
"You scare me".
"What?" She looked at him in disbelief.
"I'm scared and one reason is you" he repeated very softly.
"You are rushing things too fast and that scares me. I want us to take time, be friends, but you do not seem to want that. You are rushing into the relationship too fast and I'm scared of hurting you, I’m scared of losing you"
"Don’t you feel comfortable with me?"
"Infact, I feel a kind of comfort I have never felt with anyone and that precisely is the reason for my apprehension. I want to give us time and take it easy. We started to talk and let me admit that you mean a whole lot than you think you mean to me. But I would like you to understand what you want"
She smiled.
"But you never say anything about you to me. We talk more when in a group than we are together."
"Learn to listen to the silence", he winked and continued "Seriously, how do I say when everything about me seems just exactly what you want. You scare me when everything for you revolves around me, when you make me feel like I'm infallible, that there is no life beyond me. You scare me even more when you try to change yourself to suit every mood of me, when you want everything that I want. I want you to understand that I have my own shortcomings too. I want to sit with you, talk to you for hours about us, about our past, and listen to our stories of childhood, our crushes, our mistakes, our dreams and our fears. I want you to understand what I mean to you, the real you.
"Hmmm" she listened.
"The way you take this relationship makes me feel it is too good to be true. It feels great to get all the attention a girl can possibly give. It is a feeling of intoxication and it makes me wonder sometimes that you do all this just out of an infatuation and when it all fades, you would be gone. I have a nagging feeling that this is not the real you. And that you are trying to be everything that may interest me. I would like our relationship to be defined by friendship and love, not desire. And that precisely stops me from being anything more than a normal friend. It makes me create a wall around me. We share a friendship that is so very different for both of us. I want us to give that friendship the time and respect it needs"
“I understand".
He smiled. "I really hope you do".
She smiled.
"There are lots of things you do not know about me and there are a lot of things that I know about you that you have not told me yet. It makes me feel you do not trust me enough. And I believe if there is one thing that can create that kind of a trust, it’s only a friendship. I just want you to be yourself. You entered my life at a point when I needed that one friend. I'm scared I will lose her. That I will hurt you by leading you onto something that I'm not prepared to give as of yet. And reasons are plenty behind it. Today, I'm not sure if you would be able to understand them and wait. Honestly, if you ask me today, I would only say, I would prefer to be a friend for life than a lover for a while. You are too precious for me to lose. And that my dear, is how much you mean to me. I like you to be what you are."
She leaned on his shoulders. His hands went around her to give a comfort hug, the one in which she always felt secure.

Exhibits

2006-09-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

With lotsa celebrations at work this whole week (its truly festive atmosphere with Onam bringing all the girls in sarees and many guys in their dhotis today), theres lotsa events being organised....Everyone is allowed to submit ONLY one of their best shots. Though I do have experiemented and liked some of the shots I have taken, I have picked a couple of them of which I havent decided which one to submit. Please pass down your preferences and yes may be a title too ;-)

The most riskiest of all the pics I have taken so far, on the curvy hill roads of Coonoor hanging from the railings of a speeding van with one hand and clicking the road ahead with the other ;-)

A very very favourite of mine when we walked up the hills in Coorg to catch the breath taking day break - well, from above the clouds - literally. As it dawned, the clouds gave way for the mountains beneath to show up.

Taken early in the morning at Tiruvanmiyur beach when an over enthu group of friends decided to do some one-day-fat-reducing exercise ;-). I feel very positive when I look at this pic.

A post-card pic . Nothing to say about it. Taken at Algonquin Provinical Park, Canada during the fall of 2003.

Surely one of my best shots in clicking people and moods. Taken on the same day early in the morning at Tiruvanmiyur beach. Loved clicking it, and can weave a poetry out of this !

BTW, I have another address too : its http://bim-bam.blogspot.com

Truly enchanted

2006-09-03T23:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life you may never know if you have lost certain things - because you may have never been sure if they were yours in the first place. However, in the myriad of emotions that you pass through, you learn to accept your losses, you learn to live with it and love it for what it all means, meant and will mean to you. When you learn that, you realize how beautiful the once so barren path has blossomed into a beautiful world of its own. Each day thereafter becomes enchanted. The lost dreams find a new meaning. New perspectives, new thoughts. The memories that you tried running away from, become the most pleasurable and pleasant ones you start your day with. It brings a smile in what ever you do. They start living in every little thing you do in life, right from tying the shoe laces to taking that yearly vacation.

P.S
Written when I was reminded of something pleasant while tying my shoe laces this morning., a shoe I had not been using for a long time.

Excitement

2006-09-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

You know things are gonna be pretty much good when you start your week, all dressed in black & black formals, your work has been hindered by scheduled maintenance and have pretty much nothing to do, when you have your considerably revised pay scale waiting to be disbursed, when you have a new job offer that you may want to contemplate taking and when you have lotsa travel plans on the cards.

Things are just the way it should be...

Music : Belly Dancer
Pic Courtesy: Myjanee.com

Tear Drop

2006-08-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

Quite a long time since I came across a forward that I really liked. Its beautiful.

Sky: I could not hold
Hold anymore
I wanted not to
But I let u go..

Rain: I knew I must go
Unnerve will be mine
Yet, I still remained
Remained as a dream..

Sky: My heart burst
Burst into tears
But u were gone
Gone far away..

Rain: Dear.. I deserved the earth
There I deserved to die
The moment I die
I still loved U more . . .

Pic Courtesy : Rain Drop Image
Text Courtesy: A forward.

Love and Me

2006-08-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

Isnt love nothing but all about

But hey wait..... Isnt me all about

Note:
Just a stray thought on seeing some pics of a forward.....

Current Music:
Buy me Love - The Beatles.

Two steps behind

2006-08-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Walk away if you want to.
Its ok, if you need to.
Well, you can run, but you can never hide
From the shadow thats creepin up beside you.

whatever you do
Well, Ill be two steps behind you
wherever you go
And Ill be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around and Ill be two steps behind.

Kutti Helmet for a Kutti !!!

2006-08-24T01:07:00.000-07:00

Was amused at that small helmet on the kid the other day !!!

Just got my hand on That summer of Paris !!! The review of the book seems interesting and I hope it would be a good read !

Currently Listening to - Swear it all over again - WestLife !!

hmmmm

2006-08-22T23:08:00.000-07:00

It was more than two hours of nice and entertaining performance - and all at a cost of what ? Rs 49/- Before I go onto tell about the play , a few things about the place where the event was organised.

Rangashankara was the realization of a persistent dream of a man who had immense passion for performing arts. Please do visit www.rangashankara.org

Well, I almost thought I would be late as I cldnt leave early from the office yet I made it in time for the play, ignoring the calls of my stomach which if you know to listen, you could hear it as a growling noise ;-) !!!

It was a palette of four plays in complete-the-story style. The actors enact the story and freeze it at one point. The audience collectively give their reactions and one of the climax is enacted on the spot by the actors. Its an interesting style of presentation.
And this was the first time, this group is staging in this style for public audience. They had earlier done it only for a certain select audience.

Each play was of a different language ,Kannada, English, Tamil and Hindi. However it was interspersed with lots of dialogues in english so that the audience do not have a problem in understanding.
They were Purple Roses, Ctrl+Alt+Del, ShanthiNilaya, Friend philosopher guide. And the second play was also presented in perspective theatre style where it is enacted in the perspective of one character where if that characters thinks the rest are clowns, they become clowns.

Well, I cldnt have asked for a better evening on a tuesday leave alone the fact that I had just an akki roti for dinner during the interval. For a moment, I wished for my friend to be there with me, but I guess I enjoy my outings any case these days, like I used to before. So here are the storylines for the four plays...Anyone wanna complete it and know how it was done finally?

1. Purple Roses
Set in the Zamindar Era, the story is narrated as a folk tale by a group of villagers. This is a story of a girl Rajini who is in love with Nagendra who goes to the city to make their dreams come true. Rajini in the meanwhile goes after money and gets married to a narcisist zamindar who illtreats her. The zamindar is lured by a visiting Englishman who promises him power, fame and fortune in return for serving him with his wife. Rajini gets a letter from NAgendra who comes back for her to meet her near the bridge at sunset which the Englishman reads and offers to take her to London with him relieved of all the problems. Finally, she meets him at the specified place when she is caught red handed by the Zamindar along with the Englishman. The story freezes here.

2. Ctrl+Alt+Del
A modern office story where three collegues (one, being the lead who steals others ideas as his own) are pitching for a high volume business. The night before the pitch, the power goes off suddenly and when it returns the files are deleted and the old chai wala tells them that the back ups of the compaign and the printouts in the studio are burnt. A thunder, a lightening and the studio burst. The gods are angry and the world is coming to an end he says. There is also the beautiful secretary who is accidentally hugged from behind during the power failure while the doer takes his friends help to hide it.

The story unfolds as an investigation from each ones perspectives....Starts with the perspective of One where its a mafia set up in lines of GodFather. Believe me ,that was awesome piece of enacting by the guys in the mafia role ;-). In the other, the characters become the historical kings and Narad, ( the best part when the secretary becomes meera bhai) . Each one seems to accuse the other, while one is angry at his ideas used by his boss, the other is angry that the boss and other guy are in a relationship and ignores him and the boss himself guilty of stealing ideas.

Well, audience had to decide whos the cuplrit who actually deleted the files and burnt the generator and why?

3. ShanthiNilaya
Set in the Bangalore of 1980s, its about a family where the woman of the family is a pain in the you-know-where, a silent husband, their daughter, poor and illtreated beautiful maid, an unruly, stupid and funny uncle, a driver, both of whom try their luck at the maid. With the head of the family also giving her glances occasionally. The daughter takes to the maid for everything, she teaches the maid and becomes a moral support to her. One fine day, the uncle finds a medical report in the kitchen which says the maid is pregnant. Three guys in the family, now, whos the culprit?

4. Friend Philosopher Guide.
Set in the env of a railway station, its a story of a tourist guide, his chai selling kaka and couple of awaras singing. It was made as a musical with those awaras playing the right music for the situations. They were brilliant. The guide meets Sapna, who has run away from the family and waits for a boy friend who never turns up. The guide sympthasises with the girl who doesnt speak, tries in vain to reach her boyfriend and puts her up in a hostel and then slowly they meet daily..The girls goes on to get a job and this guy becomes a marketing executive and just when he is ready to porpose the love for the girl, the boy friend calls him.
The story freezes there and the audience had to move the story forward ....

Trust me, we had a hearty laugh at the reactions and suggestions of the audience. try guessing the way the stories have to move forward....

BTW, to get the audience to a comfort level intially, we tried something where each one has to turn to their neighbours and try to guess which part of India they come from ....I had a young couple on my right and a senior citizen on my left. I was amused to find that none of us actually made a right choice the first time. The man on my left was a Kannadiga who had worked in Chennai for 10 years and the lady on my right was from chennai again, and settled in north for a long time and had moved to Bangalore. Was interesting and a simple exercise but so easy to break the ice....And I also observed before the start of the play, two guys seriously discussing how the pricing of the tickets were a wrong strategy and would not even help them in sustaining the auditorium and they were almost creating empirical relations to figure out what the right cost of the tickets would be. Well, mes not into work at such places, hehehe !!! I guess some people just cant get out of it.

A worthwhile evening in all !!!

Current Music : Nickelback - Faraway

Provided By MetroLyrics

Final Touches

2006-08-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

Been a long time since I visited theatre and I hope to have my seat tomorrow evening. Wld be a welcome break to continue with the rest of this week ;-) !!!

Current Song - Real Love by Massari
Thanks to DV, I did not have a copy of this song at work ;-) and now I HAVE !!!yipee!

Hooked onto

2006-08-17T01:58:00.000-07:00

Check out the song on your right....thats one of the songs am hooked onto off late.....
I just loved that voice....nice video too.....

A simple hug.

2006-08-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

Had ample amount of time this weekend to organize all the pics, I mean the memories, going throuh each one of it and reliving all of it.....(Incidentally my friend called me up just when I was browsing a special set of pics of our first trip together, is that what they call telepathy?).....The whole exercise started after getting a collage of my profile done by my friend......and thats when I browsed through the above pic....
It was taken at BelleVille Water Front Festival in the June 2003. I had just reported to work and I was watching a show there, when my eyes caught something that was happening away from the stage.....A simple little hug, that assured the kid of all the security in this world - well, that sight still remains as a vivid memory. Nothing beats the comfort of a warm hug !
Currently listening to : No promises by Shayne Ward

Choice

2006-08-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

You choose - either your past or your future - and you stick onto it. !

Vienetta for breakfast? Are you crazy?

2006-08-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

You can crave for ice creams and chocolates. You can be crazy about them.
You might find them as quick alternatives to gain back the lost weight, but you just cant have Kajar Ka Halwa for dinner and Vienetta for breakfast.....AH, but aint I different?
So what do you do? Get back to working out!!! am just back from a rigorous work out and boy oh boy, it feels so damn good and especially after a wild wild weekend of partying which was
quite a different experience than I thought it would turn out to be.
On the other hand, its the business calls that are spoiling my health ...In a whole enthu of all the work and the opportunities ahead, I had taken too much on my bin and with the calls not there for a week, I'm just emptying everything and getting back to my schedules which would mean, I'm gonna be back strumming the strings with help again.

Mood: Excited
Song: Buttons

On a lovely rainy evening

2006-08-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

After a hectic schedule and deliverables, today I was in the mood - thanks to the rain and the clouds here - to free up my time to do what I like - to browse randomly. But then, suddenly I opened up a directory on my machine that was a back up of my previous machine and documents. I was so surprised to find a whole list of documents that I had typed to a friend of mine - random thoughts, penned down feelings, strong emotions, and what not. I found my lips curving to form a smile. And thats when I know what this person meant and means to my life. Pretty ironical sometimes life is when you have to lie to the very last person on Earth to whom you would want to lie, a person with whom you can be yourself, no pretense, no manipulated thoughts and emotions.

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
....

hmmmm...Life goes on as it always will. On the other side, I started to date again. People amuse me a lot, ok, no offense, they interest me a lot. And Gosh, isnt there any smart women in Blore, someone who knows to carry herself well, and who does not put up a pretense but capable of just being herself, who has her feet firmly on the ground yet is full of a woman? Or does it happen only to me? I'm just losing interest in any parties / date. All the recent dates have all been lousy and one of those days, I actually ended up having a lonely lunch. I rather would prefer a nice travel mate so that I dont end up feeling wasted like this with stupid bunch of people.

hmmmm

2006-07-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

No one remains in the same state of mind all the time !!!

Story of my life

2006-07-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company !!!

- Borrowed from Rihana (2006)

wow

2006-07-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

Hola !!!
ITs been so long since I had been on blogger that it looks alien to me !
Ah, talk about changing times :-) yeah right changing times - yes, its been so long since I have been challenged so much at work.....
-
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
-

But connected 24*7 at any time anywhere, two laptops loaded with GBs and GBs of music, anytime internet, a Nokia N mobile - Oh baby thats Redefining Life !!!

With lotsa travel on the cards, theres so much to look forward to !

Exhiliriating Experience

2006-06-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

I harldy expected to encounter what I would call an Exhiliriating Experience when I stepped out of my office this morning at 1:30 AM. Some important issues had kept me staying late at work and I knew I would be soaking wet before I reached home. Nevertheless, with a dampened spirit (I cldnt complete my work inspite of my efforts), I set out on my Black Dawn to ride through the roads of a even more dampened city.
As I came out of the office and caught up on the dark roads, I realised I'm in for a late night driving experience. I just love bikes - I love cars too but not as much as the bikes. And any day, I would prefer a bike ride than a car. And Boy Oh Bot, I love dirt bikes all the more. By jove, it was so damn difficult with the heavy drops spluttering across your helmet rendering you almost blind extracting the maximum of your concentration to see what is ahead in the road. And the big Boiler tanks on the 16/32 wheeled trucks were just plainly monstrous. I hit the hosur road only to catch up with a huge traffic Jam. Finding my way throug those trucks, four in a line was an experience in itself. Triumphant over beating all those lined up vehicles, I came to the front only to see a huge van turned upside down on the road with the vegetables making a slush in that rain. I cldnt drive anything more than 50kmph or I kept slow as the visibility was not more than a a couple of metres anyway. Turned around the madiwala only to see a cars stranded everywhere and the ones ahead of me was not risking the flowing river of water. Completely unassuming, I drove my vehicle thinking its probably for a short distance, but the water almost was waist high on my low seating Avenger. At one point I thought the engine would conk with the compelte engine and the silencer immersed in the water. But, it stayed through and came out of the water as majestically as any proud owner could hope for with not even a slightest of a sneeze. Boy, i've started to love the bike. When I reached home, I was dripping wet, yet felt as though the day had some meaning, something to achieve and something to hope for the next day !

Love and hate

2006-06-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

"You are a blend of love and hate"
"I hate you more than anyone else"

- comments given to me by my best friends *sob sob* and quite often.

But intriguingly(Ah, isnt that adjective used at me too), I dont quite understand this contradictory nature of expression. Its very difficult for me to experience and relate to such twins of an emotion that are quite antagonistic in nature. I do not go through this twin kind of emotion. How can you when you really love a person and understand them? Or is it that the hatred is nothing but a different form of expressing one's own affection because you know that you can count on them to be honest and truthful to you which may be perceived as a source of weakness?

Fresh and lively !

2006-06-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

A picture says a thousand words - they say !!

Some pictures make you feel a thousand emotions ! The firs time I saw this picture early in the morning on my mail, the feeling I got was so lively and awesome !!! Just felt so full of life and since then everytime I see it as my wall paper, I just feel all the more better !
Incidentally, it reminded me of my travel to meesapulimalai and coorg !

An awesome photograph - simple, and neat bringing the world I would rather like to be to my desk ! Kudos to the photographer !

Perfection

2006-06-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

He had never spared himself in any issue. His first concern was to discover what error he had made; he did not search for any one's Fault but his own; it was of himself that he demanded perfection.
He always tried to understand and rationalise. He always forgave others because he understood and accomodated others in his thoughts. But within himself, he always tried to find reasons, not to hurt others with the knowledge but learn to understand how not to repeat the mistakes and to rectify those that can be rectified, and to leave behind those mistakes that had no place in his heart nor the mind.

The taste of the Coffee !

2006-05-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

Took my team out to CCD here for some talk (no, nothing about work) and some coffee.....Had the drink of the day, and if I got it right, it was Devil's mind...Interestingly, it was presented with around 4-5 roasted coffee seeds....Now, I have had so many coffees, all types, but never had the coffee seeds straight. Now, it reminded me of this small grinding machine that we used to have at our granny's place. It was only during summer vacation, we used to go there and I used to hate it like hell, bcos I cant play Cricket and would miss my friends. However, one thing I was always interested was to grind those roasted coffee seeds in that manual machine to get the coffee powder. Though I did not have the habbit of coffee then, I used to get coffee made out of the powder I ground and have a filter coffee :-) !!!

Hhhmmmmm....small things remind us of the nice times and nice people we have had in our lives...BTW, it was nice to taste those coffee seeds :-) !!!

Is he a destroyer or a liberator?
Why does he have to fight his battle not against his enemies but the people who need him the most? Why does he have to fight the battle against his own woman?

from the front of Atlas Shrugged

Got my hand on Atlas Shrugged from a collegue friend of mine finally. , remember when my sis read it and strongly recommended years earlier.....With an early morning train travel, nothing wld give better company than this.

Motivation

2006-05-25T23:47:00.000-07:00

I REALLY NEED TO GET GOING, BUT JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET MOTIVATED.............

...

2006-05-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Fight as hard as you may,
you dont fight with me
its a fight within yourself
Hurt as deep as you may
difference to me, it makes none.
Seek your peace in this hurt,
seek your comfort in this hate
Happy you will be only when I leave
as a lost soul and a lonely warrior
Oh yes, I guess its time to leave
to lead a life king size.
Enough of these struggles
so silly and baseless
making the days drag
so dull and hopeless
Nothing more I can do
and fewer are my intentions
to make you understand !

Plans

2006-05-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Am planning out for this festival....but wonder if I can make it, as my sis is leaving on the 1 st of June.....But that still gives me options to attend this festival.....Should be worth listening to the music filling the chilly winds of Himalayas.
Dhanaulti Rocks Music Festival

Unforgiving

2006-05-24T00:44:00.000-07:00

"Only the strongest of the hearts can forgive the pain of being mistreated and seek the true freedom of spirit."

I had a tiff a little while ago with a friend of mine. And I'm happy I stood up for my emotions and showed it out. Probably if I hadnt done, I wldnt have forgiven myself. Neither would I have felt like a man. Forgiving someone, particularly those who mean a lot is fine, even though you may be unforgiven at times, but I guess, you cannot be untrue to yourself.

On a lighter note, do you need some EGO boost? That there could be your favourite stars who dress up the worst you can ever think of, and make you feel like GOD !!!
Yeppie, visit this Fug Yourself.
Curiously, the word fug, comes from "Fantastically Ugly" :-)

a nice read

2006-05-23T05:54:00.000-07:00

By the way of http://crypticsouls.blogspot.com/

Resurgence

The beauty of life…
Keeps me going.
I feel so special even though I have been let down many a time.
I feel happy again.
I feel new again.

Hopeless and abhorrent
I felt like giving up on Life…
Something has changed it all.
I feel buoyant again.
I feel cherished again.

I want to once again taste this cup called life.
With an ardent loom.
With a zest to find my lost soul.

I love you…Life once again.

Presently consuming....

2006-05-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

I love giving / receiving books as gifts. Somehow, this world of books fascinates me all the time. Shiv presented me with this How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got A Life after I spoke about the review I read on The Hindu Literary.

Just started with this, but have been hearing way too many things about the author and the book. Particularly about the Plaigiarism. Too early to judge anything, I guess.